Let's Take A Journey...

Day 27: Affections

2011-06-07T17:43:00.002-05:00

Day 27: A Picture of Yourself with a Family Member

These people stir my affections:

I am not lost on the fact that I was born into a very special, and rare, family. Growing up, I did not grasp the concept of divorce, or fighting, or bitterness. I knew love, patience, and kindness. The few moments I have heard my parents heatedly disagree, I have never been scared. Because we are a family. A unit.

From the get-go, we have been tight-knit. We did everything together, and a lot of times, we still do. They are my biggest fans, and I theirs.

Growing up and growing in numbers has only brought us closer. How we survived 19 years without my sister-in-law, I'll never know. She belongs; she's one of us. And the two, precious little boys in the picture above make my heart full. I knew love on one level until they were born. Sometimes I secretly wonder how I will ever love my own children more. I mean, I know I will, but today, it doesn't seem possible.

The dynamic of my family unit only makes me more cautious when choosing a future husband. He stands to gain an amazing family, and I want to make sure he can handle it. ;) We are quite vocal about Scott's girlfriends because she's going to have to hang out with Sheila and me for the next 60 years. haha It's kinda funny, and yet, Sheila and I have discussed this, on more than one occasion. I'm quite serious.

The older I get, the more thankful I am for the family God has given me. I realize how lucky and blessed I am.

Family- I love you. :)

Christen

Day 26: Ceramics

2011-04-17T20:51:00.004-05:00

Day 26- A picture of something that means a lot to you

When I was living in McKinney, I had a lot of time on my hands. I worked during the day, but beyond that, I had no responsibilities or obligations. I was bored and needed something to do. I decided to take a couple of continuing education classes at the local community college, and I fell in love. First, I took Novel Writing. It was cool, and my writing evolved. No, I have not written a novel- okay, maybe a few chapters. Then I took a ceramics class. Coolest. Class. Ever. I went one night a week for about 8 weeks. I have so many cool things and memories. I miss it.

These pieces mean a lot to me. I love that I made these with my hands. The torquoise piece is my favorite. :)

Days 24 & 25- A Picture of My Day

2011-04-12T22:04:00.004-05:00

Day 24- A picture of something that you wish you could change

I'm skipping Day 24. I don't know, I guess I'm happy with my path. I feel like anything I'd want to change will just sound like I'm unhappy with the way it is. So, yeah...on to day 25!

Day 25- A picture of your day

My days have changed quite a bit since I began this blogging journey. I went from being the night time assistant manager to the day time store manager. I've had to adjust to going to bed a whole lot earlier and getting up way too early for my liking. However, I get to come home during the daytime, which I like. And I get to come home to this:

My apartment is pretty beautiful right now. :) Yeah, I know you're jealous. ;)

Day 23: My favorite Book

2011-04-11T21:16:00.003-05:00

Day 23- A picture of your favorite book

I read this book for the first time in high school. It's about an inch and a half thick, and I read it in 2 days.

It's exciting, sad, heart wrenching, joyous. It's set in the gold-mining era, and yet, it applies to today. It's based on the book of Hosea in the Bible and completely brings it to life.

I have reread it probably 5 times and loaned it out a thousand times. The picture above is actually my 3rd copy. The first one was loaned out to a fellow flight attendant and never returned. She bought me a new one. The second one was loaned out to a Chick-fil-A coworker and doused in soda. He also bought me a new one. I apparently loan them to great people. :)

I have never met someone who didn't love this book (or cry reading it).

Maybe I'll reread it this week. :)

Day 22: I wish I was better at...

2011-04-03T21:04:00.004-05:00

Day 22: Something I Wish I was Better at

When I was a freshman in college, I took a class called Intro to Fine Arts and Media. It was literally worthless, but it was part of my major. My teacher didn't teach...he told stories or followed bunny trails. We didn't really take tests, and other than one big project, I don't think we had any other assignments. Other than one. We were required to go out and attend a fine art presentation of some sort. We could go to the symphony, ballet, an art museum, or a dozen other things. There were specifications, such as bringing back your admission ticket, or a program.

Being that Karissa (my college roommate) and I were both huge procrastinators, we waited until the very last day before our paper was due, and we went to the Kimball Art Museum in Fort Worth. I know I had been to museums before, but that day, it was like something was awakened inside of me.

The art was beautiful. It was inspiring. I fell in love.

That summer I got the opportunity to go with my parents to Washington DC. If you have ever been there or seen the Smithsonian, you know there is a vast art museum. I was in heaven.

Since 2003, I have been to virtually every major art museum in the country. I've been to the ones in NYC more than once. I want to go to Europe so bad.

When I saw Van Gogh's "Starry Night" at the Museum of Modern Art in New York City, I started crying. I was standing in front of one of the most important pieces of art in history. It moves me.

Two of my other two favorite artists are Claude Monet and Wassily Kandinsky:

I have a print of a Kandinsky in my bedroom. I love it. It would be a true dream to own a real one one day.

I mostly love modern and contemporary art. I tend to lean toward impressionism and abstract art. The weirder, the more I'm likely going to like it. I love Picasso's random, seemingly jumbled paintings, as well as the clean lines from Piet Mondrian's paintings.

I love it all.

And I really wish I was better at it. I try my hand at it, and if I really love you, I'll even show you some. But I'm not good. I've had no training. I want training. Maybe I'll take a class, get a degree, you never know with me. ;)

Day 21: I Try to Forget

2011-03-27T21:41:00.003-05:00

Day 21- A Picture of Something You Wish You Could Forget

The night I went to the Granada Theater was for a Valentine's Day date 2 years ago. Just know that it was the worst date/day of my life.

Most days I forget about it. On the days I think about it, I passionately thank the Lord that it went so badly. It took that date to wake me up to the fact that I was in a bad relationship. I was justifying it on a daily basis, and it scares me to even think about how long I would have allowed it to continue.

Instead, I was so angry, that there was no turning back. We broke up that night.

I try to forget. And most days I do.

Day 20: Plane ticket, please

2011-03-21T21:55:00.003-05:00

Day 20: A Picture of Somewhere You Would Love to Travel

I have a deep love for education. I really don't understand when someone doesn't love school. As long as I can remember, school was facinating to me. I remember a lot about kindergarten- cutting on the lines, story time on the carpet rug, centers. Every year after that was an adventure. In 3rd grade, my reading class did a project on ancient Egyptian culture. We discussed mummification, their many gods, and their way of life. From that moment, I was hooked.

I love studying about Egypt. For my junior year in high school research paper, I wrote about mummification. If you ever want to read it, I have a copy. (I also have a copy of every other paper I ever wrote in college. Yep- I'm a complete nerd.) The first time I saw a real mummy in a museum, I cried. After so many years of learning about them, it was awesome to see one. The Smithsonian in Washington DC has an extensive display of mummies and their coffins. Oh! And in New York City, the Metropolitan Museum of Art has this crazy Egyptian exhibit. You walk in, and it's like you're walking through a pyramid. Lastly, I got to see the King Tut exhibit at the Dallas Museum of Art a couple of years ago. Most people can see the whole thing in an hour. Yeah, I emerged after 2 1/2. It's that cool.

So...if I could travel anywhere...it's Cairo, Egypt. I want to see the pyramids, the Great Sphinx, the museums there. I want to ride a camel, and tour their ancient cities.

And I will one day.

Day 19: A Letter

2011-03-19T11:26:00.002-05:00

Day 19: A Picture and a Letter

Dear Dad,

From an early age, I realized I was the exception. I was one of few other girls who had an amazing, loving, giving, involved father. As I've grown up, I hope I have shown you how much I appreciate your love and involvement in my life.

My most favorite memories involve you. Going camping as a kid, by that little river. Driving through the red wood forests. Helping skin a deer. Learning about sports and how to shoot a gun. Graduating from Master's Commission with you, Mom, and Scott there. Staying at that awesome cabin in Colorado and fishing.

As I grow older, I become more and more appreciative of your commitment to our family. You have been far more than just a present father; you have given your all to us. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for supporting me in every life change (all 1000 of them). Thank you for helping me move a dozen times. Thank you for always believing in me. And thank you for your unending support.

I love you, Dad. :)

Christen

Day 18: Biggest Insecurity

2011-03-04T00:36:00.004-06:00

Day 18: My biggest insecurity

I've waited a week to write this blog because I'm insecure about what I want to say. I tend to say too much in blogs, but I rarely allow the "unlovely" parts of me to come through in my writing. I like to pick and choose my brighter moments to showcase in writing for eternity. Instead, this blog asks for my biggest insecurity. As a woman, I have several. Some are more challenging than others. But I decided to be open and honest.

I have no picture for this blog because I already feel somewhat pathetic just writing about it. If you continue reading past this point, you are not allowed to comment with anything you think will be encouraging, "a word from the Lord," or good advice. Just read it and move on. :)

My biggest insecurity is being single in East Texas at 27.

I put in the qualifying statement of "East Texas" because I know that with the rest of the world, I am completely normal. However, in good ol' East Texas, I might as well be post-menopausal.

Growing up, everyone I knew, my parents, aunts, uncles, friends' parents, all got married in their late teens/early 20's. I have always been an early bloomer and expected to find that special someone at an early age. However, high school passed without anyone that significant; college passed with one broken heart and one short-term relationship. Post-college, I've dated off and on. One guy was extremely promising until he left me for a married woman (not promising, just so you know). And since him, I've been left completely unimpressed.

Each year has ticked by with friend after friend getting married. I am actually at a place now where I am attending far more baby showers than wedding showers. I can count on ONE hand the number of single girl friends I have.

And it's a struggle. Part of me wants to look on the bright side and think that God is saving me for someone extra special. But the other part of me feels like that kid who gets picked last for dodgeball.

It's not just marriage. I know that a marriage will not solve all my problems. It's the companionship. The camaraderie. Having someone to witness my life. Having someone to sit by at Christmas. Someone to come home to after a long day. Let me tell you, coming home to my cat....not exciting.

The reason it's such a big insecurity for me is because other people make such a big deal about it. I can go through a day and think very little about the fact that I'm single. I've never woken up to someone...I don't miss it. I've always had my time to do with as I please. I enjoy watching tv or reading, and just being alone. But when people ask if I'm married, the expression, even if they think they're being sly, is always shock. The people who cannot hide their surprise whatsoever are teenagers. Between my employees and small group kids, I've had 30+ little sets of eyes widen as I explain one more time that no, I'm neither married nor dating anyone.

It's also awkward running into people I grew up with who are on their third child (or divorce...whatever their path may be). Getting to explain that I'm not married or dating and no, I really don't have any kids, well, it's not fun.

It's also weird being this age and single. I don't fit neatly in any category. College age? Nope. Young adults? Barely. Young couples? Nope, nope. And hanging out with married couples is a drag, too. (Sorry to all my married friends.) The world doesn't have a place for late-20's singles.

And if all this isn't enough, some people think it's their God-given talent and PURPOSE to find me "Mr. Right." I really don't love being set up. It's awkward. If you really want me to meet your brother/friend/co-worker/nephew/cousin-twice-removed, find a way for us to be in the same room without telling us we're being set up. If there's a spark, we're old enough to figure it out. ;)

So, why do I tell you all this? Because the blog-a-thon demanded it. It's relentless. And because I figure this blog is about me, and this is a huge part of my life. I have somehow managed to make it through 12 years of dating without growing resentful. It is what it is. And I'm still optimistic.

Maybe 2011 will be my year. Maybe not. Either way, I continue on this path that is my life. The one God intended.

Day 17: Huge Impact

2011-02-25T00:29:00.003-06:00

Day 17: A picture of something that has made a huge impact on your life recently

I guess my procrastination has paid off. I have big news and wanted to share, but I hated to interrupt this blog-a-thon. So, I was pleased to find out Day 17 was a chance to share about my recent life-changing event.

I work here:

Here's a little history:

In 1999, as my 16th birthday was quickly approaching, I knew I wanted a part-time job. My parents were generous, but I wanted freedom, dangit! A lady at church recommended that I apply at Chick-fil-A, but I went ahead and applied at several places. Chick-fil-A was the first place to call me. I remember exactly what I was wearing: black flowy pants, a white button down, and my platform black flipflops. I interviewed with Shane, and soon after had my first official (legal) job.**

I have so many memories of working there in high school. I tell my night time kids all the time to treasure their time at CFA because I am still friends with so many former co-workers. Just this week, I've had lunch with 2 of them, Emily and Reggie, and had a chance to see Brandon. I talk to Ikey pretty often, too. Those were 2 1/2 great years!

I moved home in 2009 to go back to school. I thought college degree + job experience would equal a fantastic job. I never thought twice about having a problem finding a job. Instead, I applied at 20+ establishments. 25 resumes, 2 awful interviews, and 3 months of zero income later...I called an old CFA friend. He said they were always looking for good workers.

With my tail figuratively between my legs, I went and applied. I wasn't 16. I was 25. I had graduated from a 4-year university, flown to dozens of countries in the world as a flight attendent, and assisted in the education process of 120 bright and up-and-coming young minds. But the truth was, our economy was in a downward spiral, and I was over-qualified for part-time jobs. No one wanted to hire me, just to see me leave in 6 months.

Thankfully, Chick-fil-A was willing to deal with me. After eating a big ol' slice of humble pie, I suited up: uniform shirt, pants, and visor. I grabbed a rag and cleaned tables, chairs, puke off the floor, and dirt off the playground. I refilled drinks and filled orders. And at the end of the day, I got my paycheck and thanked the good Lord for giving me a job.

After almost a year, I was offered a job as the assistant manager. This confident, self-proclaimed "over-qualified" woman was terrified! I was good at cleaning. I was good at taking orders. But being in charge of people? And making sure that a shift runs smoothly? And making the weekly schedule??? I was scared to death!

After much debating and prayer, I accepted the position. It meant quitting school. It meant moving to nights. It meant giving up a chunk of my social life. But it also gave me the opportunity to grow in areas I have never been stretched: like conflict resolution and personnel management. It also meant getting to work with some of the greatest young people I could ever know. I love my night time kids. They are a huge joy! And yeah, I haven't been on a date in months, and I rarely get an evening to myself, but I get to have lunch dates with old friends. And I get to sleep late. :)

The Lord has opened a new, scary, exciting door. (And the point of this blog.)

As of March 1, I will be the store manager of the East Longview Chick-fil-A!

I am beyond humbled. I feel so honored to be thought able to do this job. My bosses see things in me that I've never seen. I am so grateful that they are willing to teach me and cultivate me. I have great, huge things to learn, yet I'm willing. I have no idea what the road ahead looks like, but I'm here for some reason.

I've trusted God to lead my path my entire life. Never before, like now, have doors swung open without my knowledge. I never sought these positions. I have no idea how I got here. But I'm here. And I'm going to take every moment as a lesson. Every moment as an opportunity. God has me here for something, and I'm ready to take it head on.

Thank you to my wonderful bosses, Chuck and Shane, for believing in me. I hope to live up to your expectations. I will try every day.

Much love.

**Prior to Chick-fil-A, I worked at a tanning salon and a golf course restaurant. Both jobs paid me cash, i.e. not legal.**

Day 16: Pure Inspiration

2011-02-23T00:31:00.003-06:00

I'm sorry I'm a bit behind on these 30 days. I'm not giving up...just have a lot on my mind right now, and it's hard to be creative.

Day 16: Someone Who Inspires You

I didn't have to think twice about who I would say inspires me. I think anyone who knows my mother would tell you she is inspirational.

Obviously I have known my mother for 27 years. However, I don't think I really got to know her until I was in college. When I left for school, she did her best to give me my space. She rarely called, but I found myself calling her. By my senior year in college, I called her every day. Even now, living in the same town, I call her every day. At 27 years old, I need to know her opinion on things. I need to tell her the latest news. She's the best friend a daughter could ever ask for.

My mother is a quiet force. She doesn't get easily excited or angry. I have heard her raise her voice probably a grand total of 5 times in my life. (Those are scary moments, by the way.) Mom conveys her frustration, disappointment, or impatience with a look. She enjoys being with her family and finds joy in taking care of them (and me). I know she loves being a mother, but she is thriving being a grandmother. Watching her with Eli and Joe is very special. I can't wait to see her someday with my kids.

Mom runs a tight ship. Everything has a place and will be in its place before she leaves the house. She's the most organized and efficient person I know. If you need organizational skills, spend one day with her. Even her sugar and flour are organized. She may not be a chef, but she's a good cook. Family dinners, whether at home or a restaurant, are important. I never remember eating dinner in the living room or in front of the tv. We eat together, at the table, with conversation.

My mom loves the Lord with all of her heart. She wakes before anyone else in the family to read the Bible. She prayed with us every night as little kids. And now, as adults, she engages us in spiritual conversation. My mom fasted when I was in a bad relationship. She prays for me when I'm going through tough times. I know she always has my back.

Mom is inspirational because she makes me want to be a better woman. I know how to keep a clean house because she taught me to sweep and dust, and how you don't need Windex to clean a mirror. I organize things, and alphabetize papers, because I know she would, too.

And someday, when it's the right time, I know I will be a good, loving wife, because all I have ever seen from my mom is how to be a faithful, loving, encouraging wife. And I know I will be a good mother, because the Lord could not have given me a better motherly example. I feel prepared for the world because I am walking in the foot steps of my mother.

I love you, Mom.

Day 15: Before I Die...

2011-02-19T00:08:00.003-06:00

Day 15: A Picture of Something You Want to Do Before You Die

I am an adrenaline junky. I watch scary movies. I ride the tallest roller-coasters. I strive to be a paramedic one day so that when that alarm goes off and the ambulance races off for the unknown emergency, I'll be there, first on the scene.

There are a LOT of things I want to do before I die, but this is probably #1.

Someday. Hopefully soon.

Day 14: I Cannot Imagine Life Without...

2011-02-16T00:01:00.005-06:00

Day 14: Someone You Cannot Imagine Your Life Without

I will never forget the stories Mark told about Sheila Suede when I was in high school. She was this mystery girl with a boyfriend, whom Mark could not get past. Every story somehow looped back to her. It was this amazing coincidence when they led a mission trip together. Sheila, Sheila, Sheila.

The summer after my senior year in high school, a couple of months after Sheila and her boyfriend had broken up, my family was in DFW for a pastor's conference. Mark had schemed a way to hang out with Sheila one night. After several hours, we all went to bed. However, in the middle of the night, my giddy older brother came busting into the hotel room proclaiming he had kissed her.

The rest is pretty much history.

I didn't get to know Sheila for a while. She lived in another city, and after they got married, they moved to Oklahoma City. I soon after left for Illinois. But in time, I got to know her.

And I cannot imagine my life without her.

Sheila is both beautiful inside and out. She's so little and cute, you kinda just want to stick her in your pocket and carry her around. She cares about people so much. Her kids are smart and well behaved because she showed them how. She loves her friends and serves everyone. All the time.

Sheila's funny and forgetful, and she crumbles pieces of paper. She loves high heels and has this amazing talent for crafts, like painting and sewing. She might possibly be a ninja, though of course she would never tell. I've seen her pluck mosquitos out of the air in midflight. She makes everyone in her presence feel like a million bucks.

And she's also the most humble person I know. She's probably reading this and saying, "Oh I'm not that good at painting" or "sewing" or whatever. Sheila- you are. :)

I cannot imagine my family without her. I cannot imagine any other female on earth being my sister-in-law. I'm glad to finally have a sister. She truly is my sister.

I love you, Sheila.

Day 13: My Favorite Musical Artist

2011-02-15T00:07:00.002-06:00

Day 13: A Picture of Your Favorite Band or Artist

I have a very strange relationship with music. I love music; music moves me. I listen to music at all times of the day...while I'm showering and getting ready, while I wash dishes, at work while I count money, as I'm reading and drifting off to sleep. Having Pandora on my iPhone has been a HUGE addition to my love for music. I type in someone I love and out comes music that I equally love!

My taste in music is very wide. On my iPod is everything from George Strait to Lil Wayne to Brooklyn Tabernacle Choir. I tend to favor country over everything else, but my mood usually determines the genre.

Here's the strange part...I never EVER buy new music. I can count on 2 fingers the number of CD's I've bought in the last 2 years. It's two fold...I don't know what to buy, and it never occurs to me! I have my music, and that's that.

My source of new music is friends. I thankfully have friends with GREAT taste in music who are willing to share with me in an effort to expand my horizons. When I hear a certain artist, I think of more than just the music, I always remember who got me going with that particular band/singer.

Goo Goo Dolls, The Fray, and Snow Patrol? Garrett Goode
Colbie Caillat? Casey Kowatch
The Killers; Augustana? Jeanene Justin
John Legend? Scott Hamilton
Jack Johnson? Erik Schubert
Rita Springer? Karissa Ross
Pat Green? Ryan Strait
Brad Paisley? Devin Ferguson
This could literally go on forever (or at least through my entire iPod).

I do have a favorite: Miranda Lambert! I love her for multiple reasons. She is an East Texas girl (born in my hometown of Longview!) who got her start on Nashville Star. She can do it all: write, play, and sing! I knew who she was from the beginning because everyone here was rooting for her to win the show. She didn't win then, but she's killing it now! Last night, she won her first Grammy for Best Female Country Vocal Performance. I cheered in my living room!

Even though I liked her from the start, I didn't get any of her music until my dear friend Alesha Moon burned me her CD. I was immediately hooked! Her next CD, Revolution, is one of those two CD's I mentioned earlier as actually buying.

I'm a fan.

Day 12: Something I Love

2011-02-14T00:07:00.003-06:00

Day 12: A Picture of Something I Love

I have a deep love for many things. Christ's redemption and my family are at the top of the list. However, today I'd like to tell you about some far more shallow loves: relaxation, massages, and pretty feet.

Sadly, these are not my feet, but this is the most serene, idyllic depiction I could find. On most occasions, flowers aren't beautifully laying next to my perfectly tanned and toned legs, but this is at least how I feel.

If I could afford to get a pedicure every week, I would. It's the best 45 minutes I could ask for. And I get to walk away with perfectly shaped and painted toenails, and smooth feet that are ready to meet the world.

Hmm...makes me want to go tomorrow. :)

Day 8: Funny Picture

2011-02-11T01:06:00.003-06:00

Day 8: A Picture That Makes You Laugh

Sorry it has taken so long to get to Day 8, but I had the perfect picture in mind, and I couldn't bring myself to change it.

As kids, Mark and I roughhoused like your average siblings. I always acted annoyed at him, and he infuriated me with his ability to fake cry. (Got me EVERY time!) But in reality, I just wanted to be like him. I passed on playing Barbies if there was ever a chance to play Ninja Turtles or Micro Machines with Mark. Until Scott was old enough to do anything, Mark and I pretty much had each other. If he was running, I wanted to run faster. If he was climbing a tree, well you'd better believe I was 2 limbs behind him. He was my best buddy, even if I didn't want to admit it.

This picture makes me laugh because it completely sums up our relationship when I was 4 years old. Mark was probably 7 or 8 here, and we're at Fireman's Park. When we lived in Graham, our parents took us to this park a lot to feed the ducks or play. It was the coolest park. Anyway, you can tell from my expression that Mark was far too silly for my liking. ;)

Love you, brother.

Day 11: Something I Hate

2011-02-09T23:47:00.003-06:00

Day 11: Something I Hate

I went back and forth between two things I hate, but since there's not a day about my biggest pet peeve, I went with that. Had I not, I would have told you how much I hate the way I bruise. Like a peach. A peach.

Here we go...

What I hate the Most!

A wedding is the most special day for the bride and groom. Your baby, though he or she is the greatest thing to you, he is not cute or adorable or endearing while crying so loud that I can't hear the vows. Get a sitter.

Day 10: Messed Up Things

2011-02-09T00:30:00.002-06:00

Day 10: The Person You Do The Most ****** Up Things With

I've struggled to start writing this blog. My life has been anything but perfect. I had someone in mind whom I was going to write about, but I couldn't bring myself to give glory to that time in my life.

I lived a very good life until I was 23. I may be shattering some of y'all's mental images of me right now, but for about 3 years, I made bad decision after bad decision. It started small, as most sin does. It didn't seem like a big deal at first, but small things grow (like the rumor weed on Veggie Tales). It got to the place where I wasn't even being honest with myself.

About a year ago, I realized how much I hated the person I'd become. A lot of it had to do with guilt that I couldn't let go. I would ask the Lord to forgive me over and over, yet I couldn't forgive myself. I felt like I should have "known better" or been stronger.

One day in early spring, I went to the student center at my church and "had it out" with God. I realized that the unforgiveness for myself that I was carrying around was 100x's worse than the sin I had already asked forgiveness for. I committed from that day forward to let it go.

And I have.

The Lord has required big things from me. Major friendships in my life have changed. I will always treasure certain people, but I can't invest any more time. Weekend activities have changed. Family time has become huge in my life. And my prayer time has changed. I am no longer begging for forgiveness. It is a gift.

I am forgiven. I have forgiven myself. I am thankful for the life God has given me.

Much love.

Day 9: The Bestie

2011-02-07T23:51:00.005-06:00

The picture for Day 8 is supposed to be one that makes me laugh. I have the exact picture in mind, but it's at my parents' house. So, no worries, but I'll get back to this. :)

Day 9: The Person Who Has Gotten You Through The Most

Meet Shelby. Lovingly referred to as Shelbs. Shelby is my best friend.

I have known Shelby in some capacity since 2nd or 3rd grade. Our dads were pastors in the same section, so we met at church events, and we actually went on the same mission trip in high school. One of my favorite memories of Shelby is at PK Retreat (pastors' kids retreat) one year when she was making items from duct tape. She made flip flops, wallets, etc. from all the different colors of duct tape available. Random. That's Shelby for you. :)

During my freshman year in college, Shelby went to Master's Commission in Florida. I really don't remember how we got connected and started emailing, but we emailed a lot that year. The following year, I went to Master's in Illinois. The year after that, Shelby and I both attended Southwestern Assemblies of God University. That year, we ran in the same circles, had a few classes together, and finally had a chance to really be friends. Shelby is the easiest person on earth to be friends with.

During my junior year in college, we got to be roommates! That was one of the best years of my life! ~~We shared clothes.~~ I borrowed Shelby's clothes. We danced; we laughed; we sat on the outside couch and did homework. We became great friends.

After college, we both did our own things for a while, but I ended up in McKinney, and Shelbs in Red Oak. During those 18 months, we became best friends. We had sleep overs, cried over boys, met for coffee (even if it was almost 45 minutes each way), and drove to LA and back. Without stopping to sleep either way. M.I.A. will always remind me of that trip.

This is Shelbs and I in L.A.:

During my time in McKinney, Shelby met the love of her life. I am so thankful to have been able to be around during that time. Here we are at her wedding to JOSH!

This is at the rehearsal dinner. Hate the bangs, love the picture:

So, where was I going with all of this? Oh yes, the person who has gotten me through the most. I cannot imagine surviving the last 3 years without her. She lets me be an open book. She takes me at face value and doesn't run when I make stupid mistakes. The song "That's What Friends Are For" is now playing in my head. :) So glad to have her in my life.

Shelbs- love you. Thankful every single day for you. Forever besties.

Day 7: Most Treasured Item

2011-02-06T00:31:00.003-06:00

Day 7: My Most Treasured Item

When my birthday comes around each year, I rarely have a defined idea of what I really want. Sometimes it might be clothes, maybe a new pair of shoes, or a People Magazine subscription.

But when I turned 16 years old, I don't think my parents even asked. Instead, I was surprised with a beautiful white gold ring with my birth stone: sapphires!

I have always loved this ring. Sadly, I don't get the opportunity to wear it much since I don't wear jewelry to work, but I try to always remember to wear it on days off.

I have always gotten a lot of compliments on it, too, and anytime I forgot to wear it in college, people would question me about it. It made an impression.

For the rest of my life, this ring will always remind me of my parents. It is very special to me.

Day 5: Favorite Memory

2011-02-05T01:27:00.006-06:00

Day 5: My Favorite Memory

The summer before 2nd grade, my parents took Mark and I to Wichita Falls to eat at Olive Garden, as well as to change our lives forever.

It's become a bit of a joke in my family that whenever we have a super special dinner, there's probably going to be a big announcement, too. We've moved enough to know that it's perfectly acceptable to question all out-of-the-usual meals.

Anyway, this particular meal was nice. We were living in Graham, and Olive Garden wasn't exactly down the road, or in the budget. But as we sat at the table in the corner with windows right behind Mom and Dad, I think Mark and I were both somewhat suspicious. And then it came...

"We're having a baby!"

I don't remember what my reaction was- excited, shrieking- who knows. But I remember that table and those windows and where I was sitting. That's how a lot of my childhood memories work- just pictures.

The coming months were very exciting. I loved feeling the baby move in Mom's tummy. We talked to him all the time, decorated his room, and made lots of plans. Well, as many plans as you can make without knowing the sex. We didn't find out until birth, but my parents went ahead and picked out names for both sexes: Scott Wesley Carter or Mary Elizabeth Carter.

By December of 1991, I was beside myself excited! I couldn't decide if I wanted a brother or a sister. A sister seemed fun because she would be on my side against Mark, but a brother...

My parents had decided if the baby was a girl, Mark would get to hold her first, but if it was a boy, I would get to hold him first. So, clearly, I wanted a brother. To be able to hold the baby before Mark, I would take a brother for the rest of my life. This was a simple choice.

As Christmas approached, my parents and Mom's doctor both wanted the baby out in time for the big jolly holiday. Mom was induced on December 19. Not only was I about to get a new sibling, but I also got to skip school! Score! However, labor did not progress very quickly. We spent all day, and all night, at the hospital. There are so many pictures of us playing cards and taking naps. It was a long 24 hours.

Finally around 4 a.m. on December 20, little Scott Wesley came screaming out! I was sitting in the hallway in my Nannie's lap when we heard Dad shout, "It's a boy!" I remember Nannie immediately burst into tears. At the time, I wasn't sure if she was happy about Scott being a boy. Now, looking back, I think she was relieved he was a boy. Scott is named after Nannie's 2nd son, Scott, who passed away over 35 years ago.

After Mom and Dad took turns holding him, Mom carefully passed him off to me. As a little 2nd grader, this was the coolest moment of my life. This baby, this tiny little thing, was my baby brother. I intended to hold him, feed him, change him, and care for him forever. Sometimes, I feel like I still do. ;)

Mark got his turn eventually, but I made sure to stretch out my turn as long as possible.

After the excitement of the moment wound down, Nannie and Granddaddy took us home to get some sleep. We got to skip a SECOND day of school! However, the day Scott was born was my school Christmas party, so Nannie took me for about an hour to see my friends, open my present, and eat all the goodies. I also got to tell my class about my new baby brother. I was on cloud nine.

Scott's not so tiny anymore. Actually, he's the tallest person in my immediate family. But he'll always be my baby brother. I still boss him around, question his actions, and give him unsolicited advice, but I love him unconditionally.

I'm thankful every day for December 20, 1991.

Day 6: Switching places

2011-02-04T00:30:00.005-06:00

I'm taking the liberty to skip Day 5 (Favorite Memory) until I have the opportunity to go to my parents' house. I have all my personal pictures since junior high, but I don't have any pictures from childhood at my apartment. I promise to eventually get back to Day 5. :)

Day 6: The Person You'd Want to Trade Places with for One Day

I went back and forth with this entry. There are several people in my life whom I think have interesting jobs or live in exciting places, but I would hate for anyone to think I'm secretly pining for their husbands (which I'm not), so I couldn't bring myself to pick a friend. (I'm neurotic.)

I decided to go with a celebrity whom I think is beautiful, talented, and works hard for what she has: Natalie Portman.

I first remember Natalie in the movie "Where The Heart Is." I was mesmerized by her and her talent. Instead of chick-flicks, she makes "V for Vendetta" and "The Other Boleyn Girl" and "Black Swan."

She's a ballerina and continues to take lessons.

She has a degree from Harvard.

And she's engaged to Benjamin Millepied. It would be worth your time to look up his picture. ;)

If we switched places for one day, I would want it to be on a day that she's at ballet lessons. You could say I have some unquenched childhood dreams. And then maybe after ballet practice, dinner with Benjamin. hehe

Day 4: My nights

2011-02-02T01:58:00.004-06:00

Day 4: My Nights

I sat down before work to write Day 4's blog when I realized it was focusing on my nightly routine/habits. It just didn't seem right to write a blog about the night time in the middle of the day time.

My days start around 9 a.m. I get up and work out, then eat, shower, and head to work. Most days I work from 2 p.m. until 11:00 p.m. It's long evenings, but I'm glad that the last couple of hours is counting money and inventory. I get a chance to get my thoughts together from the work day. When I finally get home, against what you'd think, I'm wide awake! If I were to go to bed, I'd lay awake for hours. So instead, this is what my nights look like:

I come home and get in my pj's, then read or watch tv, and write my daily blog.

My nights aren't that exciting to other people, but for me, they're the best part of the day. I'm a night owl (thus the 2 a.m. blog). I would so much rather be awake now than 6 a.m. I like the quiet. I like that I have no where else to be. It's my "me" time.

Day 3: Love this show

2011-01-31T12:50:00.003-06:00

Day 3: My Favorite Show

This one was tough because I like a lot of different TV shows, but I'd say I look forward to America's Next Top Model the most. (Friends will always be the winner, but I was thinking shows still on the air.)

I started watching this show in college, and I don't think I've missed a season, or even an episode. I live vicariously through these people. I might even be guilty of practicing my model faces or walk...but let's not go there.

This show brought people together in college. We gathered each week to watch it. I miss those times terribly.

Day 2: 20 years and counting

2011-01-30T23:10:00.006-06:00

Day 2: The person you have been closest with the longest

I couldn't choose one person for this blog. My family moved to Graham, Texas when I was in 1st grade. That year I met Kelli Cantwell and Joanie Ramsey. About a year later, a new associate pastor came to our church, and he had a daughter just a year older than me. Angela Bazan's family stayed with us for a couple of weeks while their house was getting ready. During the next couple of years before we moved to Longview, Kelli, Angela, Joanie and I were basically inseparable.

This picture is from the Christmas of 2009 at Kelli's house. This is the last time we were all together. Too long. :(

This is from Joanie's 16th birthday party (I'm pretty sure lol). I really love this picture.

This picture was the last night of church camp in 2000. I was wearing Joanie's overalls, which I loved! This is a special picture to me.

This is from the same church camp right after lunch.

I met Kelli at church and became instant friends. We spent most days together. Before school, her mom dropped her off at my house, and we ate breakfast together, then walked or rode the bus to school. After school, we usually took the bus to her house and played til I HAD to go home. Kelli and I begged for sleep overs every night, and one time got the CRAP scared out of us while riding bikes and finding some strange man hiding behind a bush. EEK! I have hundreds of letters we've written to each other (before email), and most childhood memories involve Kel. KC + CC = BFF ;)

I also met Joanie in 1st grade. She lived just a few blocks from my house on Cresent Drive. She had the craftiest mom in the world, and I loved going to her house because her mom let us paint or make all sorts of cool things. I was always insanely jealous of Joanie's American Girl doll. I still have a pillow case I sponge painted at her house.

I met Ang in 3rd grade. She was loud and crazy and also lived within a bike ride distance of my house. She was older and always got the cute guys. lol! Angela and I were also college roommates for a year. She is one of the most bubbly, positive people I've ever known, and I love when she spells words instead of saying them. hehe

I'm proud of my friends. I miss my friends. We don't see each other entirely enough. Angela and Joanie are back in Graham, which is 5 hours from here, and they both have brand new little babies. Kelli is near McKinney, which was nice when I lived there, but now I don't get up that way.

However, when we all got together for Christmas of '09, it was like we hadn't missed a day. We laughed, cried, hugged, stayed up til all hours of the night talking about boys (on my end, husbands for them), ate lots of food, and played games. It was amazing.

Ang, Kel, and Joanie- I love yall. Thank you for being my friend through thick and thin.

30 Days of Me: Day 1

2011-01-29T22:50:00.003-06:00

I have been challenged to participate in the 30 Days of Me blog-a-thon. My cousin, Karen, and Aunt Angie are well into it, and well, I just can't be shown up. ;) Each day will include a picture and some random stories or facts. Stick around for some little-known nuggets about Christen.

Day 1: A Picture of Yourself and 10 Facts

I chose this picture for a number of reasons. It was taken at my cousin Brandy's wedding during the summer of 2006, and I'd venture to say that was one of the most pivotal years of my life. This picture reminds me of both really good and really bad decisions. It also reminds me of how much I love my nephew, Eli. Eli and I share a special bond that goes back, literally to the womb. I lived with Mark and Sheila while Sheila was pregnant. I got to feel some of the first kicks, I talked to him, bought him presents, and was there for all the delivery false warnings, and the actual delivery. I've watched him grow up and change into the most amazing little boy. This picture is silly, but I cherish it. He's my favorite person on earth. I also chose this picture because I remember feeling very pretty that day. As a typical girl, every day is NOT a good hair/dress/face/anything day. It's nice when they all align.....and you actually get a picture of it.

10 Facts about Me:

1. I have gotten to this place in life by, what seems like, accident. I never intended to move back to Longview, or work in the food/customer service industry. I'm glad to know God has a plan so much bigger than I could ever see. It's been an adventure.

2. I've moved 21 times. I have literally packed boxes, put them in moving vehicles, unpacked boxes, and started over. 21 times. I think that 21st time cured me of my love for it.

3. If you would have asked me at 18, I would have told you I'd be married by 21 and have kids by 25. Instead I have a cool apartment and a cat named Henry. Those other things will come in time. I'm so glad they didn't come in my timing.

4. I will forever love a church called Longview First Assembly for loving my family for 15 years. We literally gave it our blood, sweat, and tears. We even lived there (clothes hung in the baptistry and all) for a few weeks. No matter who comes or goes, it has a special place in my heart.

5. I want more than anything to go to Egypt and see the pyramids. All of the craziness that's been going on over there the past few days/weeks has me sick to my stomach. If something happens to all the history, I will regret not going sooner the rest of my life.

6. I think I'm a nice mix of country and city girl. I've been known to shoot skeet in high heels.

7. I have a Bachelor's in English, Associates in Bible, and Associates in Psychology, and I'm a licensed EMT. Though it may have lapsed, I'm also a FAA certified flight attendant. I love school, and I don't believe in boring lives.

8. I can't imagine life without my best friend.

9. I've grown out, cut, and donated my hair to Locks of Love. Twice. I don't regret either time.

10. My insecurities have caused me to type and erase this tenth fact about four times.

Remember that one time I wanted to be a...

2011-01-14T01:41:00.002-06:00

It's never a huge surprise when I decide to pursue a new career. You're all used to it by now. What I'm not used to: not getting it my way.

A year and a half ago, I moved back to Longview to attend EMT/Paramedic school. As I completed 3 semesters of school, I got a job at Chick-fil-A to pay the bills. And it's been a rollercoaster ever since.

I worked for CFA for 2 1/2 years in high school. I loved my high school job, but going back at 25 was humiliating! I hated it and truly questioned my decision to move home. But little did I know, God had a lot up his sleeve.

This past July, I was asked to become the assistant manager of CFA. It threw a huge wrench in my plans. The focus being on "my." I couldn't take the job and do school. After much deliberation, the job won out. And boy, did I not know what I was getting myself into. The first few weeks, I was a mess- stressed, frustrated, scattered. But thankfully, my bosses saw something in me I never knew was there. Honestly, no idea. It's been a truly humbling experience. And I love it. I love who I work for, and who I work with. I love going to work. Who knew chicken could be so much fun?

Next thing I knew, July became November...and the Longview Fire Department was accepting applications for their apprenticeship. They're paying for 6 eligible candidates to complete fire academy and paramedic school. This is what I moved home for. This is what I one day want to do! So I applied.

200 applications were received. And 157 were filled out correctly. I was part of that 157.

Those 157 were invited to take a written test over things like reading comprehension, math, and auditory listening skills. 115 candidates showed up for the test. I was part of that 115.

Out of those 115 testers, the top 22 scores were taken and invited to take the physical ability test. I was part of that 22.

This morning 21 apprentice candidates showed up in the 20 degree weather to complete a physical agility course of 11 stations within the 7 minute limit. The course had everything from raising a 50 foot ladder with a rope to pulling a 175 lb sled about 40 yards to crawling through an attic space on 2X4 boards without slipping or going below the rafters. I completed the course! In 7 min 42 seconds. 42 seconds over the time limit. My candidacy phase ended right there on the freezing cold asphalt, in the midst of sweat, tears, and big bruises (no blood thankfully).

And I was fine with it. The feeling when it was over, besides exhaustion, was complete and total peace. I had struggled with the decision of applying because I do enjoy my job so. About 2 weeks ago, I surrendered it to the Lord. "Lord, what happens, happens. I trust you will place me where you want me."

So though it may seem I missed something amazing by 42 seconds, I have to see that the Lord reassured me that he has me where he wants me for this season of my life.

And I'm pretty fond of this season.

Forgiveness when it hurts the most

2010-12-17T00:17:00.004-06:00

Today has been a rough day. The kind that makes you wish you could climb up into your parents' bed, cover your head with the sheets, and just disappear. As much as I wanted to wallow in my sadness or hold on to my anger for weeks, I woke up knowing that the Lord has called me to forgiveness.

I was hurt last night by a thoughtless act from a friend. A friend whom I greatly value. The details of what transpired are not important. What is important is the way we both responded.

I was quick to anger. I admittedly struggle with anger, something the Lord and I are working through. I took myself home and put myself to bed. If I'm asleep, I can't lash out, which was the goal.

This morning, the sunlight brought clarity, and the Lord renewed the good work he has begun in me: teaching me forgiveness. I so often ask for his forgiveness and believe he gives it freely and fully. And he asks me to do the same.

This morning also brought her response: a phone call, and on the other end was my friend with a sincere apology. I did not hesitate to forgive.

It took a lot of maturity on her end to face the music and be honest.

We sat and talked this afternoon. Will things go back to normal immediately? No. Hurt is hurt. I may be able to genuinely forgive, but the emotions don't automatically subside. I'm sad, disappointed...hurt.

And I'll be okay.

I'm so thankful for growth. I'm so thankful for maturity. I'm so thankful that I can see that in the grand scheme of things, this is minuscule. And with time, things will go back to normal. And we will laugh and trust again. I'm thankful for my friend.

Tired much?

2010-07-25T11:44:00.002-05:00

What a week! I have been to Maypearl to Kerrville and back since Monday. I have to say I am beyond exhausted. I still haven't had a solid night's sleep, but I have high hopes for this evening. :)

This week was church camp. Camp, for me growing up, was the most wonderful time of year. I remember climbing on the bus to go home each summer and dreading the fact that I had to wait a full year to come back. I love camp. Still do.

Something powerful happens at camp. There are no distractions from home, no tv, no jobs, no homework. Camp exhausts you to the point where you're vulnerable and willing to be vulnerable with other people...and especially God. Camp is a week to be a kid, get dirty, play, and have no cares. It truly feels magical. Did I mention I love camp?

I didn't think I was going to get to go this year because of work and school, but something in me was determined to go. So against better financial and academic judgement, I went. And I'm so thankful I did.

That "missing piece" that I've felt for a while...it feels whole. I couldn't put my finger on it prior to this week, but now it makes sense. It's the ashes, the things that weigh us down. I've tried to carry it for too long, and those burning embers under the ash couldn't breathe. It's time to let them be exposed.

I also built and strengthened relationships within our youth group. We have amazing leaders and students, and I'm so honored to know them.

This weekend, Scotty and I went to Kerrville for my cousin Jill's wedding. We had a blast!!! Seriously, one of the best receptions ever! :)

I'm tired. Scotty's driving right now, and I'm wearily staying awake. 3 1/2 more hours til home. I miss my bed.

Much love.

Another Day, Another Change

2010-07-18T21:29:00.003-05:00

I've been waiting to tell you the news until I got the thumbs up from higher up (not God, just management), but I accepted the position of Assistant Manager at Chick-fil-A! I start on the 26th! I have to admit I'm nervous, and it means a lot of changes to my current life, but I'm excited, nonetheless.

I will not be returning to school in the fall. It was a hard decision process because we all know I moved home to go to school. But between thinking, praying, and discussions with the parents, I feel confident I'm making the right decision. I will be a licensed EMT-Intermediate at the end of this summer semester, so this hasn't all been for nothing. But I'm taking a pause. A breath, if you will. A moment to persue something different...because we all know how much I enjoy change and new jobs. :)

I'll be working nights, which has its pros and cons, so come see me!

Much love. And eat more chicken ;)

One Second

2010-06-26T18:52:00.002-05:00

Have you seen the new AT&T commercial where the man invisions his son being the next president, and then changes his train ticket to sit by the girl? The closing slogan says, "Any second could be the second."

I love that. If you know me well, you know that I love love, and you can probably envision me tearing up at that commercial. (Yeah, that happened. Okay, okay....more than once.)

But what it says, "Any second could be the second," spoke to me in more ways than just love. Doesn't it keep you on your toes to think that the next second of your life could potentially change your life? That unexpected conversation, that little prayer, that wrong turn....everything can change.

I'm not afraid of change. I'm not afraid to take a risk just to see how it pans out. It keeps things interesting.

When I was in high school, a pastor in my life told me I would always be in God's will unless I intentionally stepped out of it. That took away all the fear of accidentally missing it. I desire to know God, I desire to make him known, and to live the life he desires for me. I don't want to ever step out of it, but I do like that it takes interesting turns. :)

Changes coming. I know you're not surprised. Details to follow in the near future. :)

Much love.

Patches? We don't need no stinkin' patches

2010-06-20T23:08:00.003-05:00

As you finish each level of EMS and pass the appropriate tests, you earn a new patch for your uniform. I currently hold my EMT-Basic in both national registry and state licensing. When I walk into clinical sites, I have visible proof that I am capable of certain skills and responsible for a stash of basic-level knowledge. Just a glance at my patch says, "She can administer instant glucose and is learning IV's now." Easy, right?

Don't you wish your other life achievements, accomplishments, or figure-it-out-the-hard-way moments were more obvious to others?

Instead of people asking me in shock, "You're 26? Why aren't you married?" They would see my certified "2 broken hearts" patch and "multiple failed dating attempts" certificate.

Instead of assuming I'm in paramedic school because I've wasted the last 8 years since high school, they would see my "bachelor's degree" emblem, and...well, I guess I could go ahead and wear my flight attendant wings. I might need a patch that says something about "She changes her mind a lot" and "Just wants to love what she does."

I would also have patches for my useless knowledge of celebrity life and "Friends"...just in case someone wanted to play a trivia game or make a bet, or something.

Anyone up for this idea? I'm also pretty great at hand-stitching, so I could get started on your patches, if you need.

Let me know. :)

(By the way, the title is stolen from the movie Troop Beverly Hills, and is best said with a Hispanic accent.)

One

2010-06-19T00:05:00.003-05:00

In my new line of work, I'm constantly reminded how blessed and fortunate I am.

I thank God for the roof over my head, as the man tells me he's lived in a tent for 15 years.

I thank God for parents who continue to love and support me, as a child dies from child abuse.

I thank God for health, as the patient with asthma struggles to breathe.

I thank God for the wisdom to not smoke, as the woman in her 30's lists "emphysema" as part of her health history.

And I thank God for the heart he's given me, the desire he's placed in me, and the strength to continue as I encounter these seemingly hopeless situations.

I will never be able to save every child. It's impossible to cure each disease.

But I can try.

And if I'm able to save one, I've made a difference.

But for a season

2010-06-10T23:27:00.004-05:00

I find it really easy to get caught up in my own world. I see the tests, clinical hours, work schedules, and sparse free time, and it's almost suffocating. Yesterday, it seemed to all catch up with me. I was having a rough day at work, and it took everything in me not to sit in a corner and cry. I was feeling pretty down and sorry for myself.

But then I went to church, and the first song during worship said, "I adore you, I love everything you are." Do you know how hard it is to honestly sing those lyrics while focusing on your own problems? Then, one of my small group kids reminded me about the book we've been reading, Crazy Love, and the lesson we had about worrying. Worrying, or seeing your own problems as a big deal, is a form of arrogance. Compared to the happenings and injustices not only in this world, but also the ones throughout time, my problems are but a moment. I probably won't even remember these frustrations in a year. Life goes on. And God, and our relationship with Him, is so much bigger and better than any issue we think we are facing.

I went to bed thinking about the blessings I have, instead of the frustrations. And I awoke knowing that this is just a season.

I hope you know that today's problems are just a season. He will see you through.

Much love.

Adopting a God-dream

2010-05-14T14:39:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, I was picking up my bridesmaid dress for a friend's wedding this summer, and we were talking shoes, jewelry, hair. I disappointed her when I said my hair doesn't hold curls. I've tried: mousse, hair spray, rollers, curling iron, flat iron, the works! It looks pretty for an hour and then it's straight (with a bunch of nasty products in it). My hair is straight, very straight. It doesn't hold curl, and this is a fact I long ago accepted. I don't try to force my hair to do what it doesn't naturally have the ability to do.

I think our interaction with God is often the same. We beg him to make us into something we were never created to do. We try to stretch or mold ourselves into an idea that God never had for us. It's like putting rollers in my hair. It might work for a moment, but we're going to be frustrated and disappointed in the end.

Sometimes we have to let go of the dreams that aren't God-dreams. Let him use the abilities he naturally gave you. You will succeed far more than you imagined.

Love without words

2010-04-09T08:33:00.001-05:00

Love speaks a language that is deeper, lovelier, and more eloquent than any we know and speak. Love crosses every boundary- race, religion, class. And the beauty of love is that it was designed by a heavenly author.

My former youth pastors recently adopted a little girl from China. She is almost 7 and doesn't speak a lick of English. I would venture to say their Chinese is about as good. But the reports I have heard are incredible. She laughs with them, plays, hugs, cuddles, and trusts them, without being able to really communicate. It's the beauty of love.

At work, the ladies who cook in the back all speak Spanish. Despite my 4 years in school, I definitely am not proficient in the language by any means. But I say hola and pat them on the back, and ask about their ninos, and smile with each passing. And when I've been gone for a couple of days, they ask where I've been, and hug me. That's love. Somehow, I've conveyed love. No credit to me...just the beauty of an unspoken language.

Love someone today. Much love.

Thoughts from the back of an ambulance

2010-04-05T22:54:00.001-05:00

I finally figured out a way to blog from my phone. Sitting at the computer is one thing I do not make time for in my life any more. My Mac has seen better days and refuses to connect to the internet, so I can't lay in bed and write like I used to. Therefore blogging has its best chances during my down time at clinicals or break at work.

Tonight I find myself in the back of an ambulance, killing time while the guys fill up with gas. We've had some good calls, and I'm glad I got a chance to tag along. One thing I realized tonight was that I have the strangest mix of fears. I can put a c-collar (neck immobilizer) on a bleeding patient without a flinch, but that dead spider in the station's bathroom about made me come unglued. I love knowing that I'm helping someone; maybe that's why blood and vomit and other unpleasant fluids don't bother me.

Alright, it's quittin' time. Much love.

Not quite homeless

2010-03-09T21:24:00.002-06:00

I'm sitting in the office at our home writing. Writing to whomever might stumble upon this humble blog and read these words. Writing while my parents sit at the dining room table and sign papers with a realtor. We are selling our home. The home I have lived in sporadically since 2000. A home where I dressed for prom, left for college, watched a million movies, and spent a thousand nights. I love this house. I have lived here more than anywhere else.

I feel torn about the future. I want it to sell. I want my parents to build their dream home out on my grandparents' land near the lake. I truly want this for them.

But I'm not ready for the next step. I'm not sure what it means for me. Where will I live? Where will I finish school? Do I want to stay in Longview when all my family is in Van? Do I want to live in Van where the closest Walmart is 30 minutes away?

I pride myself in my flexibility and love of change, and I am these things. But it's hard to plan anything when you may be homeless in 4-8 weeks.

I have some options, but it's a matter of deciding what I want and where. I'm trusting for the Lord's timing and the Lord's leading. God, order my steps.

If you're looking for a beautiful 3 bedroom house, let me know. :)

Transient

2010-03-06T23:51:00.002-06:00

I have not spent a 12 month period in the same place since 2002. As many different times as I've made plans to stay put, I haven't. Even now, I want to put down roots, but I can't. I know life will change soon. I don't worry about it, because life always works itself out, but someday, I want to live somewhere for a while.

I want a reason to stay put.

Look it's Lent!

2010-02-16T22:12:00.002-06:00

Well, folks, it's that time again! Happy Mardi Gras!! Tomorrow begins a time of prayer and fasting called Lent. Last year, I wrote about the history of this time. If you missed it, check it out: http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=74745751507 If you don't have FB, well, I guess it's time to sign up. :)

The Lord has been stirring my heart the past few weeks. In the midst of my craziness, he wants to be known and to be the prominent part of my life like never before. He's not satisfied simply with church attendance and good deeds; he wants my heart. I have been eagerly anticipating this time. I have taken part in Lent for the past several years, and it is always a tremendous time of growing, learning, and stretching-- and drawing nearer to a savior who loves me entirely more than I can fathom.

During the weeks leading up to Lent, I have to examine my life and my heart: What consumes my time and energy, my thoughts, passions, and focus? What can I give up during this season that will be challenging and will spur me towards prayer? The whole point of fasting is to give up a practice that we desire, and when thinking on this thing, pray instead of taking part. I have a feeling I will be reminded to pray quite often this year.

If you have never taken a season to fast, I challenge you to jump on board. Lent lasts from tomorrow until Easter Sunday. It's not about the rules, it's about the heart behind it. Allow this to be an encouraging time, not a guilt trip or legalistic game. And when we reach Easter, I pray we all more fully understand the sacrifice that was made on our behalf.

Much love.

Snow Day

2010-02-11T17:29:00.003-06:00

Some of my very favorite memories include snow. Growing up, my family used to go skiing every year. I can remember taking "secret" trails with my best friend, staying inside with my mom because it had snowed 12" the night before, burying Cokes in the snow to find later, and pushing the limits without care. One of my first memories is from when I was 3 or 4. It had snowed in Van, and we built a snowman. I'm pretty sure I remember every snowman I've ever attempted.

Snow is magical, especially in Texas. It's gentle and clean. It's the epitome of peaceful. I could sit and watch it snow for hours.

I've sat and watched it snow for hours today. Well, I haven't sat, but it snowed throughout my entire work day, which made it great.

I secretly pray for snow all year long. Not just because I hope it closes work and school (which of course I do), but because it's one of my favorite things. I love snow. Love.

Hope you've had a nice snow day. Today makes me want to move to Colorado so bad.

Much love.

A cup of tea with my thoughts

2010-01-24T19:56:00.002-06:00

I've heard all these great things about green tea-- weight loss, sun damage protection, lower cancer risks. Whatever the reasons to drink it, I'm sitting here with a hot cup of tea and my thoughts.

I still don't know the results from my EMT test on Friday, but I'm feeling calmer and slightly more optimistic. I'm not sure I passed, but I guess I feel better that if I failed, I can retake it and life has not ended.

This is going to be a hard semester, both physically and mentally. I took forgranted not having to work in college. I did work because I wanted spending money, but I wasn't stressed trying to pay a school bill or rent. Thank the Lord for such generous parents. Balancing work and school will be a challenge, but I'm ready to tackle it. I think one of my biggest challenges will be practicing IV's. I hate causing people inconvenience, and pain falls in there somewhere. I'm a bit of a perfectionist and missing IV's will be stressful. But practice makes perfect and failure builds character, and well, both of these things are good.

Quick update: My church officially has a pastor. I am so excited to have Pastor Edgar and Stephanie Ayala joining us in a few short weeks. When my dad retired last February, I had no idea it would take a solid year to get a new pastor in place. A lot has changed. We have seen growth in some areas, and pruning in others. We lost our music pastor (miss you, Tim!!), which was a huge loss, but we've had the opportunity to watch another man grow in his talents and abilities as he stepped into empty shoes. We were forced to stand on the promise that God had someone great for us. And I'm really excited that we found just that. I love Longview First Assembly. They became my church family 16 years ago, and I've loved growing up with them. I cannot wait for the next season. :)

Hope you have a wonderful week. I'm sad the weekend's over. I spent some much needed time with great friends. I love home and I love Dallas. It was nice to have both in the same weekend.

Much love.

This girl is a complete and total stress ball

2010-01-20T21:11:00.003-06:00

If you have known me for any length of time, you know I'm not a long-term planner. I'm good to make plans for the next 6 months, but beyond that...it probably won't happen. I think this mentality stems from my desire to face one challenge at a time rather than consider 10 in advance.

I will never forget the day I learned what a syllabus is. I was a junior in high school taking a freshman-level college English class, and on the first day of class, I was handed this packet outlining every project, paper, assignment, and test for the whole semester. It didn't matter that I was a good student or that English came extremely easy to me. I was told in 15 minutes that I had 100 things to accomplish in 3 1/2 months. I remember coming home and crying because I didn't feel able.

For 8 semesters during undergrad, this situation repeated itself. Teachers told me what was expected, and I cried. No, I never cried in class, but at home, yes. Last semester when I started my EMT program, I managed to get through that first day without the waterworks. I started my 2nd semester today, and so far, no tears.

But the stress and feelings of inadequacy are still there. This morning, I sat and listened to my teacher explain the 9 tests we'd take, the inch and a half thick workbook we would complete, and the 144 hours of clinicals we'd perform. (Yes, that's twice as many as last semester.) Oh, and let's not forget that I still have to take my National Registry test on Friday. A test that at least 3 people in my class have failed, and that I must pass to even start my clinicals this semester. My brain was swimming. All I could think was, how am I going to do this? And work? And be involved? And date? (Oh wait.) There aren't enough hours in the day, or year. And on top of all that, I found a quiz in our textbook to measure stressors in your life. I took it. I scored a 314. Interpretation: "A score of 300 or more means you have an 80% chance of suffering from a stress-related illness in the near future." What the?! So, now, I'm being told that all these circumstances in my life are likely going to make me sick?

I about lost it.

Do I honestly think I'm going to fail? No. It will get done, some how, some way. I just wish I didn't have to think about it all at the same time. This is where I'd like to be a guy so I could compartmentalize it. Y'all do that, right?

Thanks for listening to my bit of complaining. It's the stress talking. Please pray that I take this one day at a time. Pray that I recall everything I've studied for my test on Friday.

Much love.

Where I'm At

2010-01-02T23:47:00.002-06:00

When did it become 2010? (By the way, we're all going to get on board for calling it twenty-ten, right? I'm worn out from saying "two thousand" for the last 10 years.)

Anyway...this past decade has been huge. I experienced most of high school, all of college, being a flight attendant, going through Master's Commission, working at an elementary school, and returning to school to be an EMT during the '00's. All the while, I went through all of my legitimate adult relationships, had my heart broken (eh, twice), and possibly broke a heart or two (though you'd have to ask them about the past statuses of said hearts).

This past year alone was crazy. I chalk it up to a big learning experience. I started the year by dating a guy who can't be described as anything less than a jerk (don't worry, he'll never read this, and if he does, well, hey, this isn't new information). I didn't listen to my intuition at first, and as a result, learned my first big lesson for the year. Two thousand nine found me standing up for myself and no longer putting up with someone else's crap (yes, I just described someone's life issues and baggage as crap...we all have it). I have been on more first dates this past year than the last 10 years combined. And I have been on zero second dates (aside from aforementioned jerk). There are a plethora of reasons for that, but that's not important.

2009 also found me changing jobs, moving home with my parents, and going back to school. It has been an incredibly humbling experience. I spent the years after college living by myself (as well as 100% supporting myself) to suddenly be in a place where money is not a luxury. I can't go get that monthly massage or that weekly (read: daily) latte. I just can't. I have a car payment. I have health insurance. But despite my seeming financial woes, it has been an incredibly joyful 6 months. I got to watch my little brother play all but 1 of his varsity football games. I led a high school small group from the church that I grew up in and that shaped me.
I had the best Christmas I've had in a very long time...not because of the presents, but because I was in a house full of decorations, I made Christmas cookies, and I got to spend every waking moment with my family. I traded some financial security for many more less tangible pleasures.

I am a walking blender of emotions. Catch me on the wrong day and all you'll hear is how frustrated I am. But I was quickly reminded this past week by a friend that I am very blessed.

And that's truth. That's truth that leads me into twenty-ten with a high head and big expectations. I'll make all the basketball games I can physically be at before my little brother graduates and moves off to college. I'll spend my free evening hanging out with my family, watching a movie, or just playing cards. And I'll continue to avoid that 2nd date as long as it doesn't feel right. 2010 is about the fulfillment of life, not the rush or busy-ness or lack of resources. It's about living to my greatest potential. :)

Good luck. Much love.

Onward we go

2009-11-23T21:58:00.002-06:00

I should be getting in bed, but I'm wide awake.

This semester has flown by. Where did the last 3 months go? I have 4 more classes before I am done with my EMT-Basic work. Tomorrow morning is my final clinical on the ambulance.

I have learned so much in such a short time. I've also realized I have a lot to learn! I'm pretty comfortable with vital signs and patient assessment, but make me backboard someone, and I'm still a little floundery. I love what I'm learning. I cannot wait to get out there and do this! But I'm approaching the future with a bit of a wait-and-see attitude. I'm not sure where I want to be. I have really enjoyed my clinicals with the fire department. If you follow me on Twitter or are my friend on Facebook, you've probably seen my updates. The guys have been amazing! I've learned a lot. Whether I'd like to be a firefighter....we'll see. That would require some dedication and weight lifting. haha

Thanks for all of your support and prayers. :)

The name of my blog is still true: "Let's Take a Journey." And what a great one. :)

Christen

What I'm learning...

2009-09-29T18:40:00.003-05:00

I'm learning a lot...

A lot about muscle, connective, epithelial, and nervous tissue.

A lot about assessing a scene and establishing an airway.

A lot about selling chicken and spinning a milkshake.

And a lot about how having a good attitude makes everything better.

My life is crazy busy. I run from one thing to the next. If it weren't for the fact that softball season took a week off, I wouldn't be sitting here now typing this blog. My mornings are work or school; my evenings are studying, softball, youth....or more work.

For the first couple of weeks of this new life, I was probably one of the worst people to be around. I was grumpy and tired and just plain ticked. But I found a new attitude.

My life is crazy, but it's my life. It's the only one I have. And I'm really enjoying it. I've made new friends at work, I'm leading a high school small group of precious young people, and I'm learning about information that really interests me. I'm learning about a subject that I've longed to know most of my life.

It doesn't hurt that I got pulled over for speeding this morning while in my uniform, and after seeing it, the cop asked if everything was okay, asked where I was hoping to get a job, glanced at my license, told me "Nice picture," and sent me on my way. haha

Chase the life you really want. Don't settle for what you have because it's easy.

Happiness vs. Joy

2009-09-06T23:21:00.002-05:00

There is a difference between joy and happiness. Happiness occurs when good events transpire in your life and a smile and laughter grace your face. Joy is more deepseated. Joy comes from deep down; it's the gladness in the midst of the mourning. Joy is optimism when everything looks impossible. Joy is Christ's love bubbling up in our spirit. Joy is one of the fruit's of the spirit that you (and I) should strive to have on a daily basis.

Lately, I haven't felt a lot of joy. In the moment, I'm happy. When Eli's wanting to play, I'm smiling. When my family is gathered around and singing happy birthday, I'm laughing and having a great time. But it's the quiet moments...when I'm driving alone, laying in bed at night, or running errands that I don't feel that joy. Lately, all I've felt is overwhelmed and frustrated...by school, work, finances, responsibilities. And I think I've lost that joy.

Tonight, I was driving home from my grandparents'. I had a fantastic weekend. I spent quality time with my family, got a pedicure, saw a movie, celebrated my birthday. And yet, all I felt was anxiety.

My spirit was checked. Why do I not feel joy? Where is my normal, everyday optimism? Truth be told, I've let it slide. I've felt sorry for myself a little too much and not thanked God for the blessings in my life quite enough.

So, I went digging for a scripture that would fit and challenge me. I found Psalm 51:12. "Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me." I need that joy of my salvation in Jesus. And I need a willing spirit to be joyful!

This week, despite what frustrations I may face, I will be thankful for what I have and remember the joy of my salvation. :)

Random Thoughts from People 25-35 Years Old

2009-08-30T13:32:00.002-05:00

I got an email from my cousin Karen this past week and laughed so hard that I had to share! These are not my original thoughts, just a good ol' fashion forward. My thoughts are in parentheses. (These are parentheses.)

-I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

-More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves me.

-Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

-I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink to have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when they've invented the lighter?

-Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.

-That's enough, Nickelback. (No joke.)

-I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

-Is it just me, or are 80% of the people in the "people you may know" feature on Facebook people that I do know, but I deliberately choose not to be friends with? (Haha!! I would say 90%!)

-Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.

-There is a great need for a sarcasm font.

-Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the crap was going on when I first saw it. (Oh my goodness, true.)

-I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really, really gets it. (haha!! True!! I'm that way with Sweet Home Alabama and The Holiday.)

-How the heck are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet? (Agreed.)

-I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in. (This is me!)

- I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die. (Or confiscate all your journals.)

-The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text. (Yep.)

- LOL has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say". (Wow, true)

- I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

- Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron test is absolutely petrifying. (Oh, so true!)

- Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".

- How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said? (I do this.)

- I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a punk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!

- Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in' examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss's last name to an attorney and said "Yes that's G as in...(10 second lapse)..ummm...Goonies"

-What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?

- While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart. (hahaha!!)

- MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

- Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died. (This is true.)

- I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.

-Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

-I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired. (True.)

- Bad decisions make good stories (Sad yet true.)

-Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!

- Is it just me or do high school girls get sluttier & sluttier every year? (I had this exact thought in the last week.)

-If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.

-Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a problem... (This totally happened this past week during my first EMT class! UGH!)

-You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.

-Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection. (Yes, please.)

-There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

-I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to. (So, so true!)

- "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever.

-I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV.. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren't watching this. It's only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?' (I feel this way!! Especially when it's a Discovery Health show that I love.)

-I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Crap!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

- I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste. (True.)

-When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.

-I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes. (haha! Agreed. I have great music, but on shuffle, not so much.)

-Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...

- As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.

-Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is. (I do this.)

-It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood. (Sad but true.)

-I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call. (And some times I add the words "Do not answer" so I really don't forget.)

-Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what do to with it.

-Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, Pinning the Tail on the Donkey, or finding a ringing phone in a purse - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time...

-My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day "Dad what would happen if you ran over a ninja?" How the heck do I respond to that?

-It really ticks me off when I want to read a story on CNN.com and the link takes me to a video instead of text. (So true!)

-I wonder if cops ever get ticked off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit. (Haha, I think this.)

-I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

-The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then estimated that there must be at least four people eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There's nothing like being made to feel fat before dinner.

Hope you enjoyed that as much as I did! :)

Christen

500 Days of Summer

2009-08-19T21:09:00.002-05:00

No, I'm not talking about the movie...though I did see it, and it's fantastic. This summer has honestly seemed 500 days long. I've been home for two months without a job, without school, and without being able to go out of town for more than a day or two because I was hoping for job interviews. I've had a lot of boring days, and yet, I've been through 8 weeks of boot camp, gotten involved at church, and lost a lot of softball games. :)

A couple of weeks ago, I got an exciting phone call. One of the temp agencies I had applied to found a job for me at a country club. It was perfect-- I could set my own hours, the pay was good, and it would be clerical-type work. Last Tuesday, I was up and getting ready for work. About 30 minutes before I was to leave, my phone rang. It was the temp agency. They had received an email from the country club, and my position had been "eliminated." It was quite a blow. I knew my money was quickly running out, and here I was back at square one. It was a low point.

The same day a friend of mine called. He had found out about my job situation and told me he thought he could get me a job. It was a huge blessing, and yet not something I really wanted. He's the former manager at the Chick-fil-a in Longview, and he and the new manager are good friends. If you don't know, I worked at CFA for 2 1/2 years in high school. It was a great job...when I was 16. Going back is a blow to my ego. But I sat myself down and really weighed the pros and cons. They're flexible, I'll make the money I need, they're closed on Sundays, and it's a great environment. The cons: it was my high school job. So, I sucked it up, applied, interviewed, and got the job. I trained this past Monday, and I start next week.

I'm a 25 year old, bachelor degree holding, single, fast food worker who lives with her parents. And that's okay. I'm so thankful to the Lord for providing this opportunity. After 25 or more applications and 2 useless interviews, I have a means of income. And that's all I can really ask. I'm going back to school to pursue a career that I really want, and I'm saving money by not paying rent.

Maybe this isn't the life I imagined for myself when I was younger. But it's my life. And I'm living it the best way I know how.

Christen

My Mini-vacation

2009-08-09T00:05:00.001-05:00

July 30, 9:00 a.m.
Woke up way too late this morning. Still need to shower, pack, and drive to Tyler by noon. That's what I get for staying up so late. But I needed to watch So You Think You Can Dance.

12:13 p.m.
Alesha and I are on the road. I wish we were riding together, but it's okay. I've got a lot of music to catch up on. Can't wait to get to Houston! Glad to have a Diet Coke.

7:46 p.m.
Made it to Julie's. I love her new house!! Headed to dinner now with her and Daniel. I forget how nostalgic I get in Houston. I wish I had time to sit outside and watch the planes come in to IAH. It's still one of my favorite things.

July 31, 1:22 a.m.
What a great night! I lost miserably at Scattergories, but it's been so nice catching up.

10:00 a.m.
Getting ready to leave for the Woodlands to see little Rylee Ann Williams. I'm amazed that I can love a little baby so much who I've never met. Can't wait to see Krissie and Ryan, too.

2:27 p.m.
Grabbing some lunch with Julie and Alesha before we part ways. I love Rancheros. Yum! I got to hold Rylee for a long time and even feed her a bottle. She is the softest, most cuddly little thing with her black hair and cute little upturned nose. Love, love, love. I'm going back after lunch. :)

5:45 p.m.
Headed to Austin now. It's funny that I miss Houston as much as I do. I know it's just the people...not the traffic or job. ha The Williams' family has a precious, special place in my heart.

9:11 p.m.
Sitting at the Mellow Mushroom with Tim Ross and Colter. Who would have ever thought Caesar salad-topped pizza would be a good idea? Try it! Thinking about firing up a rowdy game of Uno, but Tim Barton's headed to the house...haven't seen that kid in years.

August 1, 12:59 a.m.
Climbing into bed. It's been a long day, but entirely worth it. Had some great laughs with the guys tonight sitting on the backporch watching YouTube videos. Curling up on my air mattress now. Tubing in the morning!!

8:48 a.m.
Tim made breakfast. Not a huge fan of eggs, but I'm really hungry, so I'm game. The bacon's fantastic. Wasn't too thrilled about wearing a swimsuit today, but thank God (literally) for boot camp! I'll be okay. :) Oh, gotta run...leaving for New Braunsfel.

2:13 p.m.
Sitting at Whataburger. Tubing was incredible! The water was cold, but it was still so relaxing. Tim lost his sunglasses, and I banged my legs pretty good on some concrete, but otherwise, we came away unscathed and totally chill. I really enjoyed our group, too...good people.

5:33 p.m.
Hanging out at Starbucks with Scott Hamilton. I really enjoy having so many friends in this city. It's been quite a few months since I've seen Scott, so it's nice catching up. Anyone else know he works for a linen company sometimes? ;) haha I think we may head to Borders in a second to look for a present for a friend of ours.

8:37 p.m.
Back at Tim's house. Looks like dinner is no where on the horizon. I just realized how much my daily routine revolves around food. Oh dear. Half a peanut butter and jelly sandwich will tide me over. Texting Scott...trying to convince him to come to the Rocketboys' show tonight. It's going to be good. Man, I'm hungry.

August 2, 2:10 a.m.
Just getting home. The Rocketboys put on an incredible show. Scott ended up coming, and it was Colter's first show. I love their new songs. I'd heard most of them, but I still love them. It's funny how much I love that band. I started going to their shows to support my cousin Josh. I love him...we're cousins. But I've continued to go, sometimes to as many as 7 or 8 a year, and my love for them only grows. I love taking people with me, showing The Rocketboys off. And some day, they're going to be huge. You just wait. :) After the show, we went to Katz's on 6th street for a bite (finally). We got invited to hang out with some friends, but we're all beat.

10:43 a.m.
Well, just got a text from Tim...looks like he overslept. Ironic, right? I'm usually the one oversleeping and making people late. It's nice to have the tables turned. I don't even care that he missed his alarm. Reading "Breaking Dawn" in a fold-out chair in their make-shift dining room. I love quiet mornings.

2:41 p.m.
Hitting the road for Dallas. So, so, so very excited to see Shelby. It's been almost 6 weeks since I've seen her. Too long, far too long. Tim and I had a great morning. We went to Thunderbird Coffee for breakfast. Bacon and egg panini with a nice skinny mocha. There's just something about drinking coffee out of a ceramic mug that makes me smile. Tim took me to some of his favorite spots. I'm really sad I didn't have my camera with me...absolutely gorgeous. Great outlook points over the Colorado River, one with a fantastic bridge. There was quite a bit of hiking involved. Again, so very thankful for boot camp. I wouldn't have made it up those trails 6 weeks ago. But today, hardly out of breath. :) I love Austin. Maybe one day I'll live there.

11:52 p.m.
Made it to Dallas. I felt a little silly when tears brimmed in my eyes upon seeing Shelby. Isn't it nice to find such special friends? We've had a great evening of hanging out (and eating...haha). Got to talk to her boyfriend for a bit. I like him. Looks like tomorrow I'll get to hang out with him again. Okay, time for a chick flick. Woohoo :)

August 3, 1:17 p.m.
Great day so far. Stayed in bed until after 11 a.m. just talking. Had a great burger with Shelbs and Josh on Greenville Ave., and was a bit mischievious with Shelby afterwards on our drive back to Waxahachie. hehe Time to go apartment hunting...for Shelby. I promise I'm not moving again.

7:21 p.m.
Time to head home. Apartment hunting was rather unsuccessful. But I did get to see my dear friends, the Cowans, this afternoon. Malachi has got to be the most precious little boy. I had him cracking up! I tickled him and played peek-a-boo. Cute, cute!! It was good to see Nick and Jess, too. Really sad to say goodbye to Shelbs.

10:02 p.m.
Home sweet home. What a great trip! 800 miles and worth every one. Thanks for coming along for the ride. :)

2009-07-25T21:37:00.002-05:00

I've had a pretty great day.

I woke up to an email from my trainer. As you probably know, I went to a fitness boot camp for the last 5 weeks. It was supposed to be 6 weeks, but I didn't move to Longview until the 2nd week. I didn't even care that I was missing a week...I needed to work out! Yesterday after our final workout, I got reweighed and remeasured. Talk about good results!

I lost 11 pounds.

Down 6.83% in body fat.

Lost 25.75 inches overall.

Gained almost 8 pounds of muscle and lost 19 pounds of fat.

But more than anything else, I feel great! I can tell I'm stronger, which is great. If you're interested in joining me, the next session starts Aug. 3. There's an informational meeting this week. Feel free!! I'd love some company (and competition). ;)

So after a great email, I went to Project Longview. We helped repair and repaint a lady's house in South Longview. I don't pride myself in being that great at home repair, but I really enjoyed helping this nice older lady. The guys replaced some rotted wood paneling on the outside, and the ladies caulked and painted the new boards. We were able to replace her front and back doors so she could have deadbolt locks, and we cleaned up some broken bricks and concrete from her yard. By the end of the day, I had almost as much paint and caulk on me as I put on the house, but I knew it was for a good reason. We had a chance to pray for the homeowner and share with her a little about the church. I'm so proud to be a part of LFA.

Now, I'm babysitting my precious nephews. I am so in love with them. :)

Christen

A little life update

2009-07-22T14:47:00.002-05:00

Thank you for your prayers and words of encouragement for my cousin. I heard from him this morning, and he said the surgery went great. He said he's feeling pretty good, too. I am so thankful for God's healing power and for great doctors. Thank you all again.

Job search is still going slow. I'll keep you informed. :)

I have 2 more days of boot camp!! Raise your hand if you didn't think I'd survive 5 weeks? Yeah, my hand is up. It really has been so much better than I could have ever hoped or expected. I realized this week that I don't dread it at all. And, I can do so much more than the first week. I'm stronger and I feel better. Woohoo! I'll give you an update on Friday once I get re-weighed and measured. I'm SO curious to see the results.

Much love,
Christen

I'm back :)

2009-07-17T22:49:00.002-05:00

I have been a terrible blogger. I swore I'd write more when I started this thing. I finally got back into blogging on Facebook and figured I could swing by here, too. :)

I moved back to Longview about 3 weeks ago to live with my family. The last few years have been crazy. College, flight attending, registrar/secretary/school nurse. Wow. It's been really nice being with my family, having some time to relax, and reconnecting with a lot of great people. I haven't found a job quite yet, but something will open up.

I have also decided to go to EMT school in the fall. I mean, why not, right? My life has been this crazy hodge podge of experiences, so what's one more? I've given it serious thought and consideration, and I'm very, very excited. I have always loved all things medical. I like blood...yes, I'm crazy. I start school August 25th. Woohoo!

While I have you...please, please, please pray for my cousin, Cody. On Tuesday, he was diagnosed with bladder cancer. The doctors are very optimistic about it, but it's still scary. He is due for surgery this coming Tuesday. They caught it early. Please pray for peace for his family. And please pray that the surgery will go better than expected. Thanks.

Christen

Until then

2008-10-26T22:15:00.002-05:00

Sometimes the highest highs are followed by the lowest of lows. I feel like life demands this balance. If we never experienced highs, there would be no hope. If we didn't experience lows, there'd be no caution.

I think my life is a good balance, for the most part. However, what if you don't especially like the high points you're given? What if you would prefer a different set of joys?

I live a life many would love. I go as I please. I have many close friends and a family I adore. I enjoy my job and exist comfortably on my salary. But in the things I crave more than anything else, I'm left wanting.

I feel like I'm biding my time, paying my dues before I'm awarded the thing I truly desire. And there's nothing to do but patiently wait. My efforts do not hurry the day's hours...only make them drag on.

So, I go back to my routine and hope and pray and look to the day when today's joys are joined with my desired joys.

Repeat Offender

2008-10-10T08:22:00.002-05:00

I have been "losing weight" since I was 16. Any woman (or man for that matter) who has struggled with their weight understands the perpetual up and down battle. If you and I met within the last 9 years, I might have been a size 6, or maybe a...oh we won't go there. Let's just say, I fluctuate more than 5 pounds.

Losing weight is a thorn in my side. It's not like I can do it once and forever be done with it... It's a constant struggle. If I'm not disciplined every day, it eventually creeps back up. And food isn't like alcohol or drugs or some other thing that brings you down and you can totally avoid. Food is part of our every day life. I have to learn to eat in balance and in every situation. It's a battle I wage every hour I'm awake. On top of that, I'm an emotional eater. It's a proven fact. I lose weight when I'm single and gain after a break up. I stay steady when I'm in relationships. It's almost funny. Almost.

Wednesday of this week, I joined Weight Watchers. Again. Yes, I've done this 3 times before. You would probably be shocked at all the "diet" plans I've followed. It's embarrassing. But I've always been successful with WW. Plus, two of my family members also joined, so we're in this together. :)

I have come to realize over the last 2 years that my mental maturity really didn't "mature" until I was about 22 or 23. So much of me has changed including my motivations and disciplines. Losing weight at 18 was to look hot. Losing weight at 25 is about prolonging my life, decreasing my risks for cancer and heart disease, and increasing my energy. Sure, it's still about looking good, but it's not my sole drive.

So, why do I tell you all this? Because it's true. Because it consumes my life. Because out of everything in my life ever, it's the biggest challenge and struggle I face. And being that you're in my life, or at least peering in during my blog sessions, I might as well be real with you.

Thoughts from a Republicrat :)

2008-09-09T16:57:00.000-05:00

Just so you know, yes, you are reading a political blog by Christen Carter. You have not stumbled into some parallel universe. I promise.

For some reason, this election...I care. I don't know if it's because I'm getting older and tax raises or cuts directly affect me, or that the idea of equal healthcare for every person is extremely appealing, or that I'm tired of being at war, yet I don't think leaving altogether will solve anything.

I spent the last two Thursday evenings listening to two very different acceptance speeches by the men gearing up to lead our country. I love our country. I love that we have the freedom of speech (hello! blogging!), the freedom to bear arms (which I do), the freedom to practice our religions, and to live a life with millions of possibilities. I love that this nation encourages creativity and resourcefulness. I love that we're getting back to some environmental values. And I love that I have a choice of who I can elect to lead this great country. I haven't quite yet decided who I am voting for this year because I feel like we have two very worthy options.
Barack Obama's speech was eloquent. He made so many wonderful points, and I found myself teary eyed agreeing with so much of what he said. I really do like the idea of health care for every American. Keyword: idea. I can't stand the thought of my taxes going up or providing health care for people who won't help themselves. It's a great idea that I'm not sure is ready to be implemented.

I also liked the way he concluded his speech. Of course I'm against abortion. I believe every person was a true life at conception. But do I think we should outlaw abortion? Unfortunately, no. When it's outlawed, women take scary measures to have them done. Plus, part of the American dream is the right of choice, no matter if I agree with that choice or not. I think it would be very wise to educate young people about safe sex, to provide them with the tools to make a choice for themselves, one way or the other. The average 16 year old is going to learn about sex. It's either going to be from a friend, who probably doesn't have his facts straight, or an educated adult who can warn them about STDs and the true facts on pregnancy, and the wonderful option of abstinence. I hope you hear my heart because I absolutely believe abstinence is the best option. Hello? Do you know me?

Also, I won't go into this in detail, but yes, I do believe that homosexual couples should be able to get insurance together and be legally linked so that medical decisions can be made. Do I think homosexual marriage lines up with my beliefs? No. But like I've said, I think America's all about the freedom of choice, no matter the choice.

Overall, great speech by Obama. He is a very likable man. I think he would do a terrific job uniting our country, both parties included. My major hesitations: his energy policy (I think we need to safely drill right now, right here in our country) and his lack of experience. I'm not jumping on that bandwagon; I just think it will be hard for him to be the commander of our troops when he has no military experience, and though I think his years as a senator are great, they are few.

John McCain's speech was oh, so different. McCain is definitely not cut out to be a speech maker. He fumbled over his words a few times, and it probably didn't help that protesters were crying out during the beginning. He refrained from attacking Obama much, which was drastically different from Obama. And he drew on his love of country to appeal to the masses of America-lovers (myself included). He demonstrated that he is experienced, loyal, and a hardworker. He discussed his years in the military and then shared his thoughts on the war in Iraq. I believe with all my heart that he wants to see this war end as much as I do. He watched the torment that he and his family were put through during Vietnam and Pearl Harbor, and he doesn't want to see other families go through that. But I also believe that he will be strategic in his actions. He understands that a resolution to this war won't be overnight, and it will take thought. I trust him. And that's huge.

I love, love, love his energy policy. I think I clapped during that part last night. My entire family is involved in the oil industry. My grandfather, two uncles, my mom, and my brother all work as landmen. They know the ins and outs of drilling and what it means for our economy. It is absolutely possible to safely drill in Alaska and off shore. I'm tired of sending our workers and money overseas for oil when it's available here. I'm very passionate about this.
I like that McCain acknowledged that he and Obama both have great ideas and maybe it would be a good idea to implement some of both. I like that McCain wants to see health care for every American but through different routes. I am okay with this. I just want to see it happen.
Major hesitations: also his age. He's pretty old. He comes from the old republican age. He could very well be a Bush 2.0, which is a terrible thought. He has years and years of experience, but will be be stuck in his ways? How much change will we truly see?

I think one of McCain's best assets at this point is his V.P. Sarah Palin is amazing. She is the more eloquent of the two. She has class and yet isn't afraid to throw punches. I like her. I also think she will draw Hillary's female population.

Bottomline: I'm totally torn. I think both men are great. I think either way, our country will be just fine. I also wonder if my vote is going to count much anyway...

Texas is a red state. It just is. Whether I vote or not, it's going to McCain. Basically, my vote is either going to be a vote of confidence for McCain or a vote of protest for Obama. But I guess we'll see.

Thanks for listening. :) I hope you too are informed.

Doing well :-)

2008-08-16T23:59:00.003-05:00

I've felt the need to run away all week. Work has been beyond stressful. I could honestly stay for 24 straight hours and not be caught up. I do the job of 4 people at our other offices. But I still love it. I am so blessed to work for the most patient, caring boss of all times. I love that his wife is one of my best friends.

This has been the best weekend of my life, or at least in the top 5. :-)

Education for the Post-Graduate

2008-08-07T08:34:00.000-05:00

I have, and probably always will, love school!! There's something about discovering a subject or detail that makes you say, "Wow!" I will always remember a 3rd grade G/T assignment over Egyptian culture. Ever since, I've been obsessed with mummies. I actually cried in a museum the first time I saw a real one. Such joy fills my heart...and all thanks to a teacher who was just doing her job.

Going to college was an adventure. Sure, I had those classes that were uninteresting and worthless, but I also experienced incredible growth and expansion of my strengths, interests, and loves.

Being out of college has been hard. I went to flight attendant training last summer and had the opportunity to learn a crazy fun skill, but the last 11 months have been a little empty. I have always wanted to be a life-long learner, but I still am not sure in what I want to get my master's degree. I don't want to waste time (or money) taking classes in a subject area I'm not convinced I'll love. So, I continue to wait...

Thankfully, the avenue I've so been looking for literally dropped itself into my mailbox this week. A community college in my town offers dozens of continuing education classes for a wonderful price. I can pick and choose classes that simply interest me and not worry about grades, failure, homework, or an outrageous class. Want to know what I just signed up for? "Basics of Writing a Novel" and "Ceramics I" :) I love writing (obviously), and I love art.

I'm so excited!

2008-07-27T01:38:00.002-05:00

Sometimes I wish my thoughts could be a streaming blog. Around 1 p.m., right after lunch, I have my most brilliant thoughts, and so rarely have pen or paper in the vicinity. I often script in my mind exactly what I'll say but usually can't even remember the basic thought once I'm in front of a computer. You'd think I'd learn.

Telling

2008-07-26T01:35:00.002-05:00

I'm a pretty systematic, predictable person. I tend to respond to a situation the same way I have before. When confronted with a dilemna, my course of action rarely changes.

Similarly, my blogs are often telling of my true feelings, albeit indirectly. When I'm upset or sad, the blog will be dark, even without addressing the source of my thoughts. When I'm happy, you'll probably get smiley faces and pictures. When I'm making a major change or embarking in a new relationship, I'm cryptic. However, when my thoughts are overwhelming, I don't blog at all.

I'm one of those people who, if you want to know something, ask me. I'm going to tell you. Though, in blog form, I can't seem to open up. Maybe it's the public audience. Maybe it's the fear of criticism. Who knows...

Tonight, I'm in a weird mood and I want to be open and telling, but I just can't bring myself to be. I'm quite irritated. I feel like a pawn in a bigger game.

Christen

Partly true piece of fiction

2008-06-27T13:54:00.001-05:00

Her friend leaned over and asked how she was feeling. She paused and gave a quizzical look, "I don't know."

The question lingered in her mind throughout the entire evening. Why didn't she have a straight answer?

On the drive home, the thought plagued her. What was this feeling?

Sadness? No. She was a crier, so tears would be present if she was sad.

Anger? No again. The anger had subsided weeks ago.

Disappointment? She tried the word out on her lips. "Disappointment." It seemed to want to fit, but that still wasn't it.

Peace? No, definitely not peace. It was far too heavy to be peace.

"Nothing."

"I feel... Nothing."

The word seemed odd and yet-- true.

"Nothing. I'm okay with that."

Feeling nothing meant she wasn't feeling all these other emotions, which brought a sense of contentment and almost... Joy. She could handle nothing. She liked nothing. Nothing was the best feeling she had felt in five months.

Three, two, one...

2008-06-26T15:13:00.002-05:00

I'm two seconds away from losing my mind.

The building where I work is under major renovations. I sit at a folding table right now because my old desk was destroyed and my new desk has not arrived.

In the room I work, the following things are happening simultaneously:
- Shelving is being hung with a drill and hammer
- The carpet is being cleaned by an industrial sized vacuum cleaner
- The baseboards are being nailed into place

Even with headphones shoved in my ears, the noise is unbearable. I can feel my blood pressure rising. My concentration is next to nothing. And my work is continuously piling up as a result.

Maybe no one will notice if I scream...

I can almost feel my toes in the sand

2008-06-11T13:34:00.002-05:00

I had a chill evening at Starbucks last night. There's something about a caramel macchiato that brings clarity and sense to your life.

Next week is a wedding I have been anticipating for months. I'll be traveling to Destin, FL to sit beachside as one of my friends marries the love of her life. Ironically, this love is my ex-boyfriend's brother. And said ex-boyfriend is the best man.

Now, I know what you're thinking, "That seems like torture." Well...such is life. I am consciously walking into next week's events with a high head and a big ol' smile because I wouldn't miss my friend's day for anything, not even to avoid a potentially awkward situation.

It's bittersweet, really. I'll get to witness the biggest day of her entire life. I'll get to see our friends as well as her new in-laws who, by the way, are the coolest family in the world. Plus, I'll get two days at the beach with no distractions. Sounds like a pretty good package in exchange for an awkward side hug and meaningless small talk. ;)

Hope you're having a great week.

Free Rice

2008-06-06T16:05:00.005-05:00

I went to see Augustana last night with two amazing friends. "I think I'll go Boston..."

I so wish.

Nate reminded me last night of a site where you can earn free rice for the hungry by playing a simple vocabulary game. Anyone who knows me knows that my vocabulary isn't exactly huge. Thesauruses are my best friend. I'm also a terrible speller-- I went to look up thesaurus.

I have played a lot today. I think I earned around 8 thousand grains of rice. :) While you're visiting the site, don't skip the link to www.poverty.com. If it doesn't break your heart, reread it. I don't think I fully understand this world and the living conditions so many people experience.

Lord, make me more aware of those outside my sphere of life.

Go play. Feed the hungry. Make a difference.

This sucks

2008-06-05T15:25:00.002-05:00

I feel a little piece of my soul die every time I fill up with gas.

As the numbers roll, I think:
"well, $10 could buy me a nice dinner."
"$20 would get me a cute shirt."
"for $30, a pair of shoes."
"man! For $40, I could get the perfect pair of jeans."
"UGH! $50!! That's electricity for an entire month!"

Maybe I should start selling plasma again.

Sex

2008-06-03T14:31:00.003-05:00

I've recently started watching Sex and the City somewhat faithfully. It comes on the CW every night as I'm getting into bed, and I'm guilty of both renting a complete season and seeing the new movie. I'm fascinated by their fashion and friendships as well as their complete lack of respect for sex.

I'm openly a virgin. It's most definitely a choice, not an unfortunate lack of options or opportunities. I think relationships are hard enough by themselves. You're trying to get to know someone, feel comfortable with them, build a mutual trust-- why complicate things even more with sex? I've heard you've gotta test drive before you buy. But if all you've ever driven is a Ford and all you will ever drive is a Ford, you love driving a Ford. This isn't complicated...

So anyway, watching this show really got me thinking. I can't imagine how hard it is to be in a new, vulnerable relationship and worrying about sex on top of that. In one episode, Carrie and Mr. Big had been dating for a couple of months, sleeping together frequently, when they went three days without sex. She was freaking out, questioning the relationship, wondering what it meant. I have my fair share of freaking out during relationships, and it usually happens before I've even kissed the guy! In that moment, I just thought, "Wow, I can't imagine going through a break up and trying to get over a guy who I shared something that intimate with."

When I get married (one of these days), I won't have anything to compare with. I won't have to be figuring out a relationship and sex at the same time. I'll be in the most protected, safe relationship of my life.

Just a thought...

Crazy Dreams

2008-05-29T10:15:00.002-05:00

Do you dream vividly? Man, I do.

When I was dating my now ex-boyfriend, I used to have startling dreams about his ex-wife. From what I know, she's not violent, but in my dreams, she would break into my house and attack me. I would wake up totally shaken and freaked out. But they subsided as my feelings for him subsided.

Yesterday, I had a conversation about him, so I guess he was in my subconscious-- fair game for dreamworld. I dreamt last night that I was in Florida for my friend's wedding (his soon-to-be sister-in-law), and his friends kept breaking into my hotel room. One morning, I woke up and the entire place was trashed. The next day, they had written mean things about me all over the walls and ceilings. The last day, I was taking a nap and the front door lock kept locking and unlocking (FYI: That's kinda a big fear of mine). I rushed the door, and a girl was outside. I pulled her inside and pinned her up against the wall. By the way, in dreamworld, I'm really strong. :) I asked her what her problem was. She said she couldn't believe I would say such terrible things about "ex-boyfriend." I asked her if she had any idea what he did to me! We talked for a minute, though I still had her pinned to the wall, and she realized maybe I wasn't such a crazy ex-girlfriend.

Then I woke up.

Sometimes I wish I knew what dreams mean. Am I scared of his friends? Not at all. Do I think they would try to avenge him? No. Do I still have feelings for him? No. But I guess he's still on my mind from time to time. Just weird how our brains work when we're sleeping.

Wanna get under my skin? Here's how.

2008-05-22T13:25:00.001-05:00

So, I'll be the first to admit that I'm a little obsessive about my Diet Cokes. They aren't cheap! In college, I was perfectly happy splitting a case with a roommate as long as we switched off buying them. If you ever come over to my house and I offer you a Diet Coke, count it a real priviledge. I don't do that for just anyone. If we're at a restaurant, you're more than welcome to drink some of mine because there are free refills. But otherwise, I'm pretty selfish with the D.C.

So, here's the reason for the rant:I work at an elementary school that is housed inside a church building. Yesterday, I bought a 12 pack of Diet Coke to put in the refrigerator here. It's nice to be able to walk down the hall and get one from the fridge. I even went to the trouble of putting a note on the front of the box: "Property of Christen Carter" I taped it over the opening, so someone would have to physically tear the paper off to reach the Diet Cokes. Well, I came to work today (which is Thursday...the day after youth service is held here), and SIX were gone!!!! HALF! Plus, my note was gone. Someone threw away my note and took half of my 12 pack!! Yes, it's just Diet Coke, but it's still stealing! I have half a mind to call their youth pastor, but I won't. UGH!

Don't take my Diet Cokes!

Thoughts

2008-05-22T10:08:00.003-05:00

I've seen 3 car fires in the last month. Are cars not made like they used to be, or are people driving worse? All three were the results of wrecks. Sometimes I worry when I drive...

There's a lady I know who is in her late 40's, never married, and still looking. My biggest fear is to be her.

I should have been born in the 1800's. I love the women's dresses. I'm sure they were crazy hot, but they were beautiful.

I'm going to Sea World this weekend. Can't wait!

Hit the Nail on the Head

2008-05-19T10:47:00.002-05:00

Have you ever heard of the book "Please Understand Me 2"? It has you take a test and then analyzes your personality. My former college roommate is obsessed with it. I took the test almost 2 years ago, and the results could not have been more dead-on. I felt like someone was reading me my biography. It was almost scary. Anyway... Facebook has a new application called "My Type" that essentially does the same thing. My results, yet again, were perfect. I think I am a bit of an extreme personality. What can I say? :)

All of that to say this, the relationship paragraph was like a page out of my journal. The test measures you in 4 areas, so ESFJ is just my type. I bolded the areas that are totally me:

"For the ESFJ, love means warmth and commitment. When ESFJs first fall in love, they show this warmth and concern for their partner in many tangible ways. They will send cards, notes, flowers, special gifts, and other mementos of their affection. If the partner casually mentions a desire for a specific thing, they will try to find just that thing. Once committed in a relationship, ESFJs tend to stay with it even when there is inconvenience to them and perhaps longer than may be healthy. They are able to bring out the best in their partners, even though it may mean putting their own needs second.
Because ESFJs are caring individuals, they expect to give and receive in their relationships. Because others may not be as thoughtful as the ESFJ, it is a possible source of disappointment to them if they expect the same awareness and caring on the part of the partner. ESFJs may take the end of the relationship as a personal failure.
ESFJs, when scorned, hurt all over and may need to take time to get over the relationship before pursuing a new one. They may too easily and incorrectly blame themselves for the unfavourable outcome and recall instances when perhaps they were not as giving as they might have been. However, ESFJs' standards for giving in a relationship are likely to be above those of some other types. At their worst when scorned, ESFJs can become spiteful and critical of the partner. Because ESFJs are keenly sensitive to others and are tuned in to emotional needs, they really know how to hurt a person in the rare instances when they choose to do so."

If you know me, you know how true this is. If you're on Facebook, go give it a try: http://apps.facebook.com/my-type/

Much love.

Why try to conserve?

2008-05-16T09:41:00.002-05:00

Why is it that when you're trying to conserve something, you many times do all but that?

One of my best friends eats all around the center of a cookie, since the middle is the best part, and many times her husband steals the last bite. Another friend found out her favorite lip gloss was being discontinued and bought 10 tubes. She misplaced 9.

This morning I was putting on my make up. Wait. Let me back up-- I have a favorite eye shadow. For the ladies out there, you know how the search for the perfect highlighting shadow takes years? Well, about 3 years ago, I stumbled upon Rimmel's Cool Touch eyeshadow. It starts creamy then dries and NEVER moves. I'm in a love relationship with this stuff, but for the life of me, I can't find it anymore in the store. It may have been discontinued. :( Back to my story. I have about 1/2 a tube left and try to use as little as possible each day. This morning, I wasn't paying attention (the result of putting make up on at work), and squeezed out about 5 times what I usually use! I tried to scoop some back into the nozzle, but it was fruitless. I wanted to cry.

In other news, it's Friday. This weekend should be loads of fun.

Junior High

2008-05-15T15:37:00.000-05:00

This past weekend I went home for Mother's Day. Since you can't tell your mother "no" on Mother's Day, I agreed to clean out my closet. Every time I've moved to and from college, to New Jersey, Houston, McKinney...more and more stuff has been left in that closet. I thought she wanted me to go through a few things, but she had a totally different idea. Everything either went to Goodwill, the trash, in the attic, or back to McKinney with me. Needless to say, I know where my organizational skills came from. :)

As I was pulling things out, I found some long lost treasures, to say the least. Three prom dress, a Chick Fil A work shirt, hundreds, maybe thousands, of pictures, cheerleading uniforms, and thousands of notes and letters. I relived 24 years of memories-- I've had some great times!

The notes and letters were probably the most interesting to me. Kelli (Cantwell) Mellema and I wrote dozens of letters back and forth. These were definitely the days before email. I'm pretty sure I've saved every card, letter, and note I've ever received. I got a real kick out of my junior high drama. Note after note asked who I liked, if I thought so-and-so would go out with her, and they were all signed the same way-- "I love ? You love ?" Of course, those question marks were replaced with the latest boyfriend-- Mark, Matt, Nathan, Chad, Adam, Matt again, Chad again.

Some excepts from my personal favorites:"Dear Christen, Don't show anyone this. For your eyes only. The thing that I said I knew is that you like my boyfriend. I can't tell you who told me. But I could tell you liked him. You're always talking about him. I'm pretty mad at you, well not really. I love you! Best friends forever! P.S. He doesn't like you."

"Dear Agent Jen (aka Christen), Your mission, if you choose to accept it, is to find me a boyfriend. I think the guy I've been telling you about is over you-know-who, so try to get him to ask me out. This message will self-destruct in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 BOOM"

I think I stopped breathing from laughter when I found a note that had obviously been crumpled up and found or stolen or something by me. It was a conversation between two unidentified people-- a guy and a girl. They were talking about someone, but the last line is what got me: "I can't believe you voted C.Carter prettiest just because of her butt." For the record, I was never voted prettiest, but I obviously caused some drama with my backside. ;)

Overall, I decided, I was pretty shallow, not always the best friend, and quite boy crazy. I'm glad things have changed. Well, two out of three is good. ;)

To a life full of crazy, wonderful, hysterical memories, I'm so glad I got to relive it for a weekend.

Nice to Meet You

2008-05-15T15:20:00.004-05:00

I feel the need to reach through this computer screen, shake your hand, and welcome you to my life. How do I convey to you who I am in a mere few sentences? In college, I learned outlines communicate a lot of information in a small space. So, let's try bullet points.

Can't really cook.
Doesn't love to clean.
Devours reality t.v.
Has an old, fat cat.
Has a knack for finding guys with issues.
Longest relationship to date-- 6 months
Isn't much for shopping.
LOVES her family.
Claims to love Coldplay. Doesn't really.
Has moved 14 times.
City girl by day, country girl at heart.
Grew up in a Christian home, continues in these beliefs, promises not to force-feed them to you. :)
Bachelor's in English
Mid-twenties
Worked as a flight attendant for 8 months
Currently works at an elementary school

Hello! It's nice to have you. Grab a seat. It's been a wild ride thus far, and it doesn't look like anything's changing soon.