Have you ever wanted to competely and totally vent about something, but because it's so extremely personal and self-revealing, you don't?  That's where I'm at.  So...I vent to a friend who, bless his little heart, loves me in spite of myself.

I feel like my life is moving about 4 days faster than me. All I'm doing right now is playing catch up.  Maybe it's all the extra time I was in NYC.  Oh well, it was a blast.

I'm continually astonished at how much I'm changing.  While we were gone, I realized how much my mother relies on my dad.  It's definitely not a bad thing and works very well for her, but it's not my personality.  Now, you know as much as I do that I want to be married one of these days, but I like the thought of my self-reliance joined with another self-reliant person.  I really enjoyed riding the subway alone without an ounce of fear.  I'm very confident living by myself and am only scared about 1 day out of the month now.  The idea of having a job and paying my own bills and living my own life is extremely appealing right now.  Weird.  I guess the forced independence is growing on me. :)

I bought The Holiday last night.  If you haven't seen it, see it.  I wrote a blog back in January about it.  Read it. :)

Much love,
Christen

My Father reflects my father

I've heard a lot about a father's love lately.  Josh McDowell was telling us a couple of weeks back that a father who is distant and unloving can singlehandedly drive his children to alcoholism, drug abuse, and even homosexuality.  He said an absent father is better than a present, uninvolved father.  In my Human Sexuality class, the homosexuality debate circled back to the father quite often.

It's made me very thankful.  I have a father who has fulfilled every stereotypical, loving, doting father-figure you can image.  I've never wondered a day in my life whether I was loved; he's reminded me everyday. :)

I think this is why I "get" God so much.  Of course I see him as a generous, peaceful, ever-protecting father, that's all I've ever known in this physical realm.  Why do I believe God has his very best for me?  Because my father, Randy Carter, has only given me his very best.  He never gave me dirt when I asked for food.  He took me to Olive Garden and insisted I ordered dessert.

I am very blessed, and I just wanted you to know that I have the greatest father on earth.

Love is in the air...well, not in my air ;)

I may import some of my myspace blogs.  I feel like you've missed out on a portion of my life. :(  We'll see how bored I get.  haha

I tend to write a lot about love and relationships.  I think it's because that's my nature.  I am relational.  I often measure my own personal value on the strength and depth of my relationships.  The relationship I have with my parents is awesome.  We talk about everything, practically nothing is off-limits.  I talk to my mom almost everyday...because I want to.  I find a great wealth of knowledge in them.

In the last year, I've come into an awareness.  For the first time, I see how immature and impulsive young people are.  My 6th grade Little and her friends are crazy.  My little brother, though awesome, doesn't think through things.  And I have some friends who are getting married at 18, 19, 20, and I want to say, "Really? Now?"  Sure, I almost got married at 19, but thinking back on it, I was an idiot.  We didn't know each other.  I was young and  impulsive (and he was just dumb).  And I probably would have never finished school.  School while you're single is hard enough.  All of that to say, I have a greater appreciation for my parents' wisdom.  They really do know better than me. (Disclaimer: I don't think you're an idiot if you're getting married young; just make sure you REALLY know the person and you've spent lots and lots of time together and have talked through every aspect of your lives.)

My Human Sexuality class is by far my favorite this semester.  Beside the fact that it's rather humorous to be talking about sex on Southwestern's campus, it's crazy informative.  We started the semester talking about authentic sexuality and how it's God-given and such.  We've talked about homosexuality, and right now we're talking about singleness and sexuality.  Yesterday, Dr. Logue was giving us statistics about premarital sex and even about interracial marriages.  It's really interesting.  One thing I found facinating about premartial sex being on the rise is that in many ways, it's biologically based.  Yes, there's definitely a link to the sexual oversaturation in the media, but check it out.  Puberty is setting in younger and younger.  Back in the day, girls hit puberty around age 16 and guys around 17 or 18.  Guess when people got married: around 17 or 18.  So, there wasn't much of a gap between puberty and marriage.  In our current society, boys and girls both hit puberty between 11-13.  The average age today for marriage for women is 23 and for men is 27!  You're looking at a 12-16 year gap! Holy crap.  That's a long time to reign in raging hormones.  ha.  Anyway, I thought it was interesting.

That's enough food for thought.  Have a wonderful weekend!

Christen

Fonder

You know how they say distance makes the heart grow fonder?  Well, our two month separation has been terrible.  Those people at MySpace don't understand why I want to write everyday.  They just don't!  So, I hope you'll accept me back.

I think I went on a date tonight.  ha.  Like how I "think"?  I had dinner with an old friend, a guy I haven't seen in over 6 years.  But we went to a nice place, he paid, we talked.  It was fun.  Maybe this casual dating thing is more fun that I thought. :)

So what's been going on in your life these past 2 months?

I'm in my very last semester of college...EVER!  It's been crazy hard, but I'm enjoying my friendships and hanging out.  Things are good, minus classes. ;)

Christen

MySpace

My Dearest Xanga,

I've tried to ignore the obvious. I thought if I didn't address the issue, I would get over it.

But it's just not happening...

I've been seeing someone else.

MySpace and I have bonded; we're very happy. He lets me be myself, truly be well-rounded. I'm sorry, but...but, I think you and I are done.

I'm sorry.

If you'd ever like to visit me, I would love to be friends. Just because I'm moving on doesn't mean you and are any less of friends.

www.myspace.com/christenlcarter

I'll love you forever.

Christen

Boys and Girls

So this has been bugging me lately (and I'm about to be super honest with you). I honestly want your feedback and thoughts.

I'm a girl...a very girly girl, to be precise. According to Karissa's personality test (which is SO true), I am a guardian provider, which basically means I am a classic, southern hospitality, motherly-instinct kind of girl who wants a fairy tale when it comes to romance. Now, I can rough it with the boys when needed (geo-caching, anyone?), but for the most part, I want to be a girl.

This is what bugs me: Why is it that as a girl, if I say that I want to be in a quality, loving relationship, people automatically label me as boy-crazy and someone who just wants to get married? In this moment of honesty, yes, eventually, I'd like to get married, but not tomorrow or necessarily even next year. However, for guys, when they say they want to find a girl, it's seen as noble and manly.

I just got through rereading a blog from my friend Steven. He wrote it this summer, and it's amazing. He talks about saving himself for his future wife and how much he can't wait to meet her, yet he's content in waiting, as long as he finds her eventually. People absolutely sang his praises after he wrote it. Every girl basically fell in love, and every guy thought he was awesome. Also, on MANY of my guy-friends' profiles, they have "my future wife" or "a nice girl" under their "Who you'd like to meet" section. Yet, if I were to write either of those things, people would think I was crazy.

Especially at Southwestern, people assume the majority of girls are here just to get their M-R-S degrees. Just so you know, there are some girls here who have brains and want a degree and really, really value their school work. Sure, I'm guilty of having no idea what I want to do with my life, but I'm not here just to get married. I want an education. I came for an education. Now, (another moment of extreme honesty) did I hope to find my better half here at the GU? Sure. My brother did, and a lot of people do. Why not? I go to school with hundreds of men in my age group who love Jesus and are obviously smart enough to be pursuing a college degree. Odds are, one out of this group could have some potential. But is marriage my reason for being in college? Heck no. I believe in God's timing and plan completely.

Anyway, sorry for the bitter rant. I just don't understand why girls get such a bad rap. Yes, I would like more than anything to find someone to spend time with just for the sake of pleasant company, but I'm not boy-crazy or a shallow girl. Thoughts??

Christen

To my wonderful friends...

Thank you to everyone who made this one of the best weekends of my life!! I feel like I took a hiatus from school and just reconnected. I'm serious- so refreshing and fun!! I haven't laughed as much as I did this weekend in a really long time.

I have this theory that I have 3 generations of Southwestern friends. My freshman year (pre-Master's commission) I was mainly friends with older people, and now they are grown up and getting married. After Master's, I was friends with people my own age who are either seniors or one year out of school now. And now, my friends are mainly juniors and seniors. These are three very distinct groups that I love for so many reasons, and they overlap to a degree. Karissa tends to be the main over-lapper. haha But I love and appreciate them so very much.

This weekend, I managed to spend very significant time with all these people. It started Thursday night at my house. My newest group came over for pizza and games, and we all just hung out. It was really nice. Then Friday, I went to dinner with several of my older girls because Angie Yandell was in town (she's getting married in 2 months!!!!!). We cracked each other up with our awesome hair styles and cheerleading routines. haha!! Later that night, I got to camp with some very dear friends for Shelby's birthday. We went geo-cacheing which is probably my new favorite thing, for sure! I've really miss being in the woods and enjoying nature (except for those wretched spiders!!), so it was great. We roasted marshmellows and had great "life" talks and even made breakfast Saturday morning. I love my friends so much!

After camping, everyone headed to Southwestern's homecoming football game (which we won!!!!!!!) to see Sigi and Girien crowned Queen and King (and to see me cheer, of course...haha). Shelby had to hand over her Queen title. We had a really great Homecoming Court (shout out to Nate and Chris!), and I would have been pleased with any of them winning. It was a great game and a beautiful day. My parents even came. It was wonderful to see them! :) After dinner with my padres, I attended Angie's wedding shower. It was lovely (Andrea is a wonderful host), and she received some beautiful things. It was so refreshing to see all the girls there. I miss them terribly. Post shower, I continued in the celebration of Shelby's birth at her house. Karissa made her famous cookies, and we all drank hot chocolate before a rousing game of Farkle (dice game). I lost, but it was still a blast. Then, we just goofed off until really late. I miss my roomies. :( But it was fantastic to see them all weekend. :) Thanks to Brooke for spending the night and bumming around with me this afternoon! Love you!

So, here's to my friends who enrich my life and make me who I am. I am so blessed. I was telling Jeanene last night how much I enjoyed myself and almost started crying. I couldn't have asked for a better college experience or better friends. I love each and every one of you and am so thankful you are part of my life. I love you!

Christen