Sometimes I wish my thoughts could be a streaming blog. Around 1 p.m., right after lunch, I have my most brilliant thoughts, and so rarely have pen or paper in the vicinity. I often script in my mind exactly what I'll say but usually can't even remember the basic thought once I'm in front of a computer. You'd think I'd learn.

Telling

I'm a pretty systematic, predictable person. I tend to respond to a situation the same way I have before. When confronted with a dilemna, my course of action rarely changes.

Similarly, my blogs are often telling of my true feelings, albeit indirectly. When I'm upset or sad, the blog will be dark, even without addressing the source of my thoughts. When I'm happy, you'll probably get smiley faces and pictures. When I'm making a major change or embarking in a new relationship, I'm cryptic. However, when my thoughts are overwhelming, I don't blog at all.

I'm one of those people who, if you want to know something, ask me. I'm going to tell you. Though, in blog form, I can't seem to open up. Maybe it's the public audience. Maybe it's the fear of criticism. Who knows...

Tonight, I'm in a weird mood and I want to be open and telling, but I just can't bring myself to be. I'm quite irritated. I feel like a pawn in a bigger game.

Christen