Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Not quite homeless

I'm sitting in the office at our home writing. Writing to whomever might stumble upon this humble blog and read these words. Writing while my parents sit at the dining room table and sign papers with a realtor. We are selling our home. The home I have lived in sporadically since 2000. A home where I dressed for prom, left for college, watched a million movies, and spent a thousand nights. I love this house. I have lived here more than anywhere else.

I feel torn about the future. I want it to sell. I want my parents to build their dream home out on my grandparents' land near the lake. I truly want this for them.

But I'm not ready for the next step. I'm not sure what it means for me. Where will I live? Where will I finish school? Do I want to stay in Longview when all my family is in Van? Do I want to live in Van where the closest Walmart is 30 minutes away?

I pride myself in my flexibility and love of change, and I am these things. But it's hard to plan anything when you may be homeless in 4-8 weeks.

I have some options, but it's a matter of deciding what I want and where. I'm trusting for the Lord's timing and the Lord's leading. God, order my steps.

If you're looking for a beautiful 3 bedroom house, let me know. :)

Saturday, March 6, 2010

Transient

I have not spent a 12 month period in the same place since 2002. As many different times as I've made plans to stay put, I haven't. Even now, I want to put down roots, but I can't. I know life will change soon. I don't worry about it, because life always works itself out, but someday, I want to live somewhere for a while.

I want a reason to stay put.