Emerson's Inspiration

So, it's been pointed out that my blogs are becoming more and more sparse with words, so I'm going to try and make up for that. :)

I heard a quote today that really made me think:

"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us." -Ralph Waldo Emerson

It was used in a Christian setting to refer to God, but I really doubt that's what Emerson was talking about since he was one of the foremost thinkers of transcendentalism, which isn't exactly a Christian philosophy. Anyway, I took it to mean the potential-- the talents and thoughts and ideas-- that lie within each one of us that we have yet to tap in to.

I have dreams, big dreams, that I don't know what to do with. I have talents that most of you know nothing about. I have tentitive plans for my life that may, or may not, happen.

I am 22 years old and a senior in college yet have almost zero direction for my life. Sure, I have the fall back plan (which very well may be God's best for my life): becoming a teacher and eventually getting my master's in school counseling. I know I would enjoy this route. I love people and the education system and the responsibilites of school counseling. However, sometimes I sit and wonder if that's really my life's purpose, what I'm going to find fulfilling for the rest of my life.

What else would I do? I'm not sure. My interests/desires include editing, writing, wedding planning, organization, linguistics, literature, computer design, video editing, layout design, etc, etc. I just don't know how any of these could be something more or how they fit together. Then there's the ultimate dream of being a wife and mother, which will all happen in the right timing.

Thankfully, I'm not actually worried about my post-college life. I've trusted the Lord to lead me in the right direction for 22 years, and he has yet to fail me. A very wise man once told me that I would never be out of the will of God as long as I wasn't diliberately trying to step out of it. Well, I'm sure not doing that, so I know it's going to work out as always.

So back to the quote. It made me think about what's inside me, and I couldn't help but wonder how God is weaving these things together to create my future. Isn't it comforting to know we don't have to do this alone? My father up there loves me so very much that he WANTS to bless me, WANTS to see me succeed.

Which leads me to another thought (I told you I was making up for lost words...haha). Tonight I was very humbled before the Lord as I was thinking about how blessed I am. I have an incredible family, an amazing guy in my life, a good job, wonderful friends, and very few worries. (I'm not bragging; I'm getting to the point.) And suddenly this huge fear went through my mind: As soon as I acknowledge all these amazing things, surely the Lord is going to take something away from me. And it hit me, where on earth did I get the idea that the Lord would TAKE something from me? Am I not the one telling people that God desires to bless us?

He does. He blesses me daily. He provides for me. I live the good life. He is directing my steps and masterfully leading me in the right direction. He knows the true, deep down, possibly having never been spoken of, desires of my heart.

So, thank you, Mr. Emerson, for spurring me to once again surrender my life. It's nice not being in control.

Christen