Day 21: I Try to Forget

Day 21- A Picture of Something You Wish You Could Forget



The night I went to the Granada Theater was for a Valentine's Day date 2 years ago. Just know that it was the worst date/day of my life.

Most days I forget about it. On the days I think about it, I passionately thank the Lord that it went so badly. It took that date to wake me up to the fact that I was in a bad relationship. I was justifying it on a daily basis, and it scares me to even think about how long I would have allowed it to continue.

Instead, I was so angry, that there was no turning back. We broke up that night.

I try to forget. And most days I do.

Day 20: Plane ticket, please

Day 20: A Picture of Somewhere You Would Love to Travel



I have a deep love for education. I really don't understand when someone doesn't love school. As long as I can remember, school was facinating to me. I remember a lot about kindergarten- cutting on the lines, story time on the carpet rug, centers. Every year after that was an adventure. In 3rd grade, my reading class did a project on ancient Egyptian culture. We discussed mummification, their many gods, and their way of life. From that moment, I was hooked.

I love studying about Egypt. For my junior year in high school research paper, I wrote about mummification. If you ever want to read it, I have a copy. (I also have a copy of every other paper I ever wrote in college. Yep- I'm a complete nerd.) The first time I saw a real mummy in a museum, I cried. After so many years of learning about them, it was awesome to see one. The Smithsonian in Washington DC has an extensive display of mummies and their coffins. Oh! And in New York City, the Metropolitan Museum of Art has this crazy Egyptian exhibit. You walk in, and it's like you're walking through a pyramid. Lastly, I got to see the King Tut exhibit at the Dallas Museum of Art a couple of years ago. Most people can see the whole thing in an hour. Yeah, I emerged after 2 1/2. It's that cool.

So...if I could travel anywhere...it's Cairo, Egypt. I want to see the pyramids, the Great Sphinx, the museums there. I want to ride a camel, and tour their ancient cities.

And I will one day.

Day 19: A Letter

Day 19: A Picture and a Letter



Dear Dad,

From an early age, I realized I was the exception. I was one of few other girls who had an amazing, loving, giving, involved father. As I've grown up, I hope I have shown you how much I appreciate your love and involvement in my life.

My most favorite memories involve you. Going camping as a kid, by that little river. Driving through the red wood forests. Helping skin a deer. Learning about sports and how to shoot a gun. Graduating from Master's Commission with you, Mom, and Scott there. Staying at that awesome cabin in Colorado and fishing.

As I grow older, I become more and more appreciative of your commitment to our family. You have been far more than just a present father; you have given your all to us. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for supporting me in every life change (all 1000 of them). Thank you for helping me move a dozen times. Thank you for always believing in me. And thank you for your unending support.

I love you, Dad. :)

Christen

Day 18: Biggest Insecurity

Day 18: My biggest insecurity

I've waited a week to write this blog because I'm insecure about what I want to say. I tend to say too much in blogs, but I rarely allow the "unlovely" parts of me to come through in my writing. I like to pick and choose my brighter moments to showcase in writing for eternity. Instead, this blog asks for my biggest insecurity. As a woman, I have several. Some are more challenging than others. But I decided to be open and honest.

I have no picture for this blog because I already feel somewhat pathetic just writing about it. If you continue reading past this point, you are not allowed to comment with anything you think will be encouraging, "a word from the Lord," or good advice. Just read it and move on. :)

My biggest insecurity is being single in East Texas at 27.

I put in the qualifying statement of "East Texas" because I know that with the rest of the world, I am completely normal. However, in good ol' East Texas, I might as well be post-menopausal.

Growing up, everyone I knew, my parents, aunts, uncles, friends' parents, all got married in their late teens/early 20's. I have always been an early bloomer and expected to find that special someone at an early age. However, high school passed without anyone that significant; college passed with one broken heart and one short-term relationship. Post-college, I've dated off and on. One guy was extremely promising until he left me for a married woman (not promising, just so you know). And since him, I've been left completely unimpressed.

Each year has ticked by with friend after friend getting married. I am actually at a place now where I am attending far more baby showers than wedding showers. I can count on ONE hand the number of single girl friends I have.

And it's a struggle. Part of me wants to look on the bright side and think that God is saving me for someone extra special. But the other part of me feels like that kid who gets picked last for dodgeball.

It's not just marriage. I know that a marriage will not solve all my problems. It's the companionship. The camaraderie. Having someone to witness my life. Having someone to sit by at Christmas. Someone to come home to after a long day. Let me tell you, coming home to my cat....not exciting.

The reason it's such a big insecurity for me is because other people make such a big deal about it. I can go through a day and think very little about the fact that I'm single. I've never woken up to someone...I don't miss it. I've always had my time to do with as I please. I enjoy watching tv or reading, and just being alone. But when people ask if I'm married, the expression, even if they think they're being sly, is always shock. The people who cannot hide their surprise whatsoever are teenagers. Between my employees and small group kids, I've had 30+ little sets of eyes widen as I explain one more time that no, I'm neither married nor dating anyone.

It's also awkward running into people I grew up with who are on their third child (or divorce...whatever their path may be). Getting to explain that I'm not married or dating and no, I really don't have any kids, well, it's not fun.

It's also weird being this age and single. I don't fit neatly in any category. College age? Nope. Young adults? Barely. Young couples? Nope, nope. And hanging out with married couples is a drag, too. (Sorry to all my married friends.) The world doesn't have a place for late-20's singles.

And if all this isn't enough, some people think it's their God-given talent and PURPOSE to find me "Mr. Right." I really don't love being set up. It's awkward. If you really want me to meet your brother/friend/co-worker/nephew/cousin-twice-removed, find a way for us to be in the same room without telling us we're being set up. If there's a spark, we're old enough to figure it out. ;)

So, why do I tell you all this? Because the blog-a-thon demanded it. It's relentless. And because I figure this blog is about me, and this is a huge part of my life. I have somehow managed to make it through 12 years of dating without growing resentful. It is what it is. And I'm still optimistic.

Maybe 2011 will be my year. Maybe not. Either way, I continue on this path that is my life. The one God intended.